Sorry mom.
Sorry I didn't have fun at the dance.
Sorry I can't help but hate myself.
Sorry I wanted to be left alone in the fucking bathroom.
Sorry i'm not the perfect little girl you wanted.
It's always my fault, right?
Even when you're drunk.
Even when you're rude.
Even when you invade my privacy.
--
I can't do division that well, I know that. It already takes me down enough. But we had to do this paper, I got to the long division part and didn't do it because I CAN'T. So when that girl collected the paper and said to me "Your paper is going on the bottom." as if it was some kind of disgrace...As if she didn't want that to be the first thing the teacher saw from our group...It hurt...I wanted to cry...So I went into the bathroom, but I couldn't...I felt numb and broken. Not only was I Insulting my level of intelligence, I was insulting every inch of my being. My body. My personality. My skills. My voice. It just wasn't enough to make me cry...
--
They want me to stop self harming?
THEY WANT ME TO GO TO THERAPY!?
THEY WANT ME TO BE HAPPY!?!?
THEN MAYBE THEY SHOULDN'T MAKE ME FEEL HORRIBLE!
--
I dropped the jar. Happy thoughts, scattered on the floor...
I dropped the jar. Happy thoughts, scattered on the floor...
I dropped the jar. Happy thoughts, scattered on the floor...
I dropped the jar. Happy thoughts, scattered on the floor...
I dropped the jar. Happy thoughts, scattered on the floor...
I dropped the jar. Happy thoughts, scattered on the floor...
I dropped the jar. Happy thoughts, scattered on the floor...
I dropped the jar. Happy thoughts, scattered on the floor...
I dropped the jar. Happy thoughts, scattered on the floor...
I dropped the jar. Happy thoughts, scattered on the floor...
--
Well, I've lost it all I'm just a silhouette
The sad face of a girl you'll soon forget
And my eyes are damp from the words you left
Ringing in my head, when you broke my chest
Ringing in my head, when you broke my chest...
--
I'm sorry to my loving family
Sorry I just can't beilve that anybody ever really loves or cares about me
Sorry to my loving family
Sorry I could be so blind
Never mean to hurt you or leave all the things we said behind
--
Let me just give up.
Let me just let go.
If this isn't good for me, well I don't wanna know.
Let me just stop trying.
Let me just stop fighting.
I don't want your good advice or reasons why I'm alright.
You don't know what It's like. . .
