Chasing Cali (Upper East Side One)

Chapter Fifteen

15 - Goodbye

I hugged Thalia as I saw her waiting for me in the lobby. I poured my heart out, and she didn't say anything. Ang sakit sakit.

She didn't ask, and she didn't scold me for what I did. She just hugged me like I did when she was in my position that time.

Nang makalma ko ang sarili ko ay nagpahatid na ako sa kanya.

"Zoey, I know it's hard to deal with that. I've been there. But always remember that I'm always here at your side. Okay?" She glanced in my direction and held my hand. Tumango ako sakanya at nakia ko ang malungkot niyang ngiti para sa akin.

"Thank you, Thalia." She smiled at me. After we arrived at our house, she offered to accompany me, but I refused.

"I want to be alone. Don't worry, Thalia. I will not do anything you don't want me to do." I tried to smile at her, but she frowned.

"Zoey, I know it hurts. The time I went through that also, I did something terrible and almost lost it. You saw it... You watched me in that state. So please, don't make it the same way I did. Just call me when you need anything." I nodded as I hugged her.

"Take care." Nanghihina kong sabi sa kanya.

"Take care, Zoey." I waved my hand to say goodbye.

I went directly to my room. I fixed my things and put them back in my closet. I heard my phone ring. I looked for it and saw that Jax is calling. Again.

As soon as I entered Thalia's car, he's calling me nonstop. I stopped myself from answering any of his calls. Kahit gusto ko. Kahit nangungulila ako sa kanya ay pinilit ko ang sarili kong tiisin na hindi sagutin ang tawag niya.

I don't want to talk to him because what happened a while ago is still fresh from my mind. Masakit pa rin sa puso ko ang mga nasaksihan kanina.

I just want to think while no one's bothering me—especially him. Gusto ko munang mag-isip at mapag-isa.

I looked down, and Jax keeps calling me. I put my phone off so that I will not receive any of his calls. I headed to the bathroom to take a shower.

Kung inakala kong sa hindi pagsagot sa tawag niya ay makakalimutan ko saglit ang mga nangyari, it was futile.

I still kept on thinking about what I did a while ago. It had felt like the right thing to do at that time.

He hurt me, and I don't even know when he can gain my trust for him back. He lied to me, and I don't want to think that every single moment we had was all lies too. Ang hirap hirap pagdudahan ang taong mahal mo dahil ikaw din ay masasaktan.

At first, it was all doubts. I doubted Jax because of his actions and his lies. Tonight, all my doubts were confirmed. I love him, but I don't know if I can trust him again to come back to him.

He broke my trust in him. I was so ready to forgive him, but he did that. I was so ready to forget all the lies he told, but that happened. I was so ready to stop doubting him, but Maddy happened. I was so ready, but he failed it.

That was the last thing he did before he broke my trust completely.

I hate him for what he did, but I still love him. I hate him because of Maddy, but I still care for him. I hate him because he's the reason why this is happening to us. I hate him because he broke my trust. Pero gaya nga ng sabi ko, kahit na galit ako sa kanya ay hindi pa rin mabubura ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya. He's my first love. I am in love with him despite everything that had happened.

However, regardless of this love I have for him, my hate and the broken trust I have for him are the main reasons I can't forgive and forget what he did.