The Puzzle Is Already Complete: Our Neurodivergent Family

Introduction

My journey as a parent of 3 has been tough. But definitely fulfilling.

I've had rough times, sure, but the amazingness outweighs the misery. I've learnt to celebrate my children and encourage their unique identities, rather than viewing them as merely our offspring or genetic makeup of us or their siblings. I never play favourites.

My youngest, Mack, is 8. She is a female, but we have named her Mack because we liked the name very much and who cares if it sounds a bit boyish? Besides, if she ever decides to come out to me as transgender, she can just stick to her own name. Mack loves to swim and is an accomplished swimmer. She has won many swim competitions and is on her school's swim team. She has severe attention deficit disorder, but we view it as a natural form of diversity in human functioning. She identifies closely as an "ADD-er" and has a nice community of neurodiverse peers like her.

My son Legacy is 13. He is transgender and assigned female at birth. He just came out a few months ago. He is currently attending a special educational school, but I want to pull him out because it's too behaviour-based. He is considered mildly to moderately autistic by professionals, but the doctors are realizing that a more accurate label would be moderate to severe, because of an autistic burnout from trying to pass for typical. He has lost a lot of self care skills due to the burnout. To me, he's just autistic. No functioning labels or anything. That's just who he is.

My child Lyric is 16. They are anatomically male but identify as agender. Their one major pet peeve is misgendering. We try to respect their identity, but it's hard when we've known them as male for so long. They are on the school soccer team and take ballet lessons.

Some people might say my children are missing a piece of the puzzle, but to me, the puzzle is already complete.