Dear Blog Diary,
What an emotional couple months it has been! My heart is filled with the world's biggest amount of joy and sadness. I wanna laugh and smile but burst into tears at the same time! It truly is the most bitter sweetest of oxymorons. I feel like my life is just getting started but also "like my life is flashing by and all I can do is watch and cry." I can not wait to venture into Iowa City but the thought of doing so makes me nostalgic and scared like nothing else ever has. I am bursting with excitement for my new life and am grieving the one I am about to leave behind.
In all this emotional instability, all I can think to say is this: The story goes on. The story goes on, even when the Hunger Games are over. The story goes on, even when Cath finishes her fan fiction. The story goes on, even when Tris is no more. (Not okay, Veronica Roth!!!!) The story goes on, even when Colin gets a girlfriend who isn't named Katherine. The Death Star gets destroyed? The story goes on. Harry defeats Voldemort? The story goes on. Hazel does not stop loving Gus because he is "no longer suffering from personhood." (Coming up with a fancy way of saying it does not make us any less mad about it. @JohnGreen.) Just because Auggie gets a standing ovation, does not mean he will not continue getting more. He, Jack, Summer, and Charlotte have many more adventures ahead of them.
The story goes on, even when student council meetings are no more. (I had a dream we were having a student council meeting and can't decide if it's sweet, weird, funny, or sad.) I will not stop having the biggest and warmest of love for people with special needs, even though art and P.E. are over. The reading room in the library will forever have a special place in my heart, even if I do not volunteer there next summer. I will forever think of working at Central Dining when in Burge. (How can I not after coming in on the first day this summer and feeling like even though it had been almost a year, my last shift was only yesterday.) "You Can't Stop the Beat" will continue being stuck in my head, months after dance. I will continue to be a bookworm, even if I have to leave behind the majority of my favorite books.
Didn't make it onto the finalist for Tulip Court? Still overwhelmed, excited, and honored beyond words to have been nominated and for all the never ending support. Didn't work out with the Daily Iowan? Still love and am going to continue writing about and telling the stories of people with special needs. I wanna start a Best Buddies blog and already know what I am gonna call it. (Through the Eyes of Ally lives on! :) Survived junior year? Will never forget all those West Civ tests. I will always have the Dutch spirit, even when cheering for the Hawkeyes. Graduated high school? The story goes on. Moving from Pella to Iowa City? The story goes on. Through everything which has and hasn't, will and won't, happen, the story goes on.
Let me tell you a story. We just got back from a trip to Minneapolis and South Dakota. We took the same trip nine years ago and went to a zoo called Bear Country which you can drive through and see bears and other wildlife animals on the road. Than, there is a portion where you get out of the car and there is a mini version of an actual zoo, also filled with wildlife. At this zoo, nine years ago, Mar Mar saw a grizly bear and said "teddy bear."
Nine years later, we go to the same zoo and find the same bear exactly where he had been since we last saw him. Maria got sad because the bear did not recognize her. We have been telling her the story of what she did nine years ago for weeks. On the ride over to the zoo, she kept saying, "Teddy bear!" (Infinitely grateful for a God for giving me a sister who, even though almost a teenager, can still say these two words in the cutest and sweetest of voices which can melt anyone's heart!!!) The story goes on. Even the one of Maria and her "teddy bear."
As one chapter ends, another one is just beginning to be written. In the chapter about to end, I have discovered my dream of working with and writing about people with special needs. In the one about to begin, I am starting on my way to make it come true. Yet, I can not forget the chapter I am about to leave behind. If it weren't for all the amazing characters in it, the next one would not be happening. I would have no idea I not only love but am skilled at working with people who have special needs. Without some of the most supportive families, teachers, friends, and community anyone could ever ask for, I would not have any confidence to keep writing.
I trust the never ending love and support of the characters in my story will continue to follow me no matter where I go. I am going to need it to write a happy ending to and have courage for the chapter up ahead. I need people who are always there for me, inspire, encourage, and motivate me to write, never fail to see the best in me when I don't see it myself, fill my heart with the biggest and warmest amount of love and joy, and make me laugh and smile. I trust God, with all His never ending goodness and wisdom, realizes this and will give it to me. The characters in the chapter who have thus far given this all to me will continue doing so. I can not thank them all enough for everything!! The story goes on.
Plus, I trust I will continue adding new characters to my story who are just as wonderful as all the ones already in it. (Again, all God!) I can already sense my favorite memories and best friends will be made through Best Buddies. I know it is what will inspire and motivate me to keep writing more than anything else ever will or can. I need the characters who have previously been a part of my story but am also busting with excitement to add more!! The setting is changing and I am adding a lot of new characters but the story goes on.
Another main character in my story is God. I trust He will continue being on my side no matter what. He has given me everything I have needed to get through the dark parts of this chapter and no doubt, the same will be true for the one up ahead. With God and all the characters He has and is going to bless me with, everything will be just great!
One example of God's never ending wonder is He made life like a story. Everything the good and bad, leads to your happily ever after. No matter what, life goes on. Life is a story. The story goes on. I believe from a moment way before we were even born, God had a plan for each and every one of us. I believe before either of my parents were even born, God already had plans for them to have a child who would be destined to work with and write about people with special needs. My story has been leading up to it, even if I only discovered it recently. It just explains everything: Turner Syndrome, moving to Pella, etc. This has always been where my story has been leading. A new chapter is beginning. The story goes on.
In May, I had a grad party. Yet, it was more than that. It was a celebration of one chapter ending and another staring, of the story going on. It is a reminder of where I am going but also where I am coming from. I can not thank everyone who came enough! Thank you all so much for the sweetest of cards and presents! I appreciate it and you to the moon and back with all my heart. For those who couldn't make it, since you care enough to take the time to read this, I know you had something else going on, got held up at parties, or had another reason for not coming besides not caring about or liking me so I understand.
I have a whole entire box of pictures and things from my table. I will look back to remember this chapter. Some memories and characters have been way better than others but everything and everyone has made me me. I will have a bunch of things and pictures four years later which I will put in a box next to it to see the story that kept going.
Through everything, I will remain the same. I will continue being a responsible procrastinator, extroverted introvert, sassy sweetheart, serious silly goose, laid back worrier, and an Ally in a world full of Allies. The infinite amount of lessons I have learned from the characters in my story are life changing and lasting, following me wherever I go. I have no doubt of my purpose and will over joyfully and wholeheartedly follow through with it. My story and the characters in it were created and placed in my life by God to make me me. The impact they have had on me will follow me wherever I go and I know I will gain even more characters who will guide me to who I need to be. I have won battles and I will win any battles up ahead.
My story has been one of love, joy, acceptance, and numerous blessings because of the best of the best characters God has been kind enough to place in it. I trust that will continue being the case so my story will be the best of the best ones anyone could ever ask for. Through everything that has not gone my way, I have never ceased, and trust I never will, fail to feel like the luckiest of the luckiest girls in the world! I love where my story has lead me and am busting with excitement to see where it will lead me. God is the writer of my story so as long as I love and trust Him through all the dragons and trolls, I will find my happily ever after and have the time of my life doing so.
Wish me luck,
Al Al
