pandemonium and shattered glass hearts.

Chapter 11.

11.

Luce's pov

Stuck in a nightmare, where you're running up an endless stretch of ground, just running towards the unknown. But somewhere deep down, you really know you're running from yourself.

Where the sound of your feet hitting the ground, the sound of your own shallow breathing, the sound of distant screams are the only thing that breaks your rhythm.

Nightmares like these are when your mind looses all sense of reality, all sense of what's real. Monsters become a reality.

But somewhere deep down you know the real monsters are inside of you. These are the nightmares of someone who's taken too many counteracting drugs.

Then of course, you wake up, shaking, sweating, getting the last of the drugs out of your system.

By the time I wake up it's past 12, the hospital must have spoken to the teachers.

There's no way I'm facing anyone today, or for the rest of my life if I can help it.

Gossip, rumors, mis-interpretations all spread like wildfire here, I'm sure that there's already at least 20 rumors about me going around.

Last night I crashed before Jess even came back, after being hit by a major comedown.

I want to go back to sleep, and loose myself in an alternate reality, but there's a low noise in the background that's stopping me just on the edge of sleep. It's what woke me up in the first place.

So I get up, with the intention of cleaning myself up, and standing under the hot shower spray to think.

Getting up is hard, as soon as I stand my head spins, sending the room around and around. Putting one foot in front of the other is a mission, when the whole room is spinning as though I'm on a carousel.

I don't even try to find the source of the sound, I focus on getting into the bathroom.

I'm so dizzy by this point that I sit cross legged under the water, leaving my back against the cold tiles.

It clears my head a bit, and washing the sand and dried up spew left over from that night, clears it even further.

I take my time, trace patterns in the steam on the walls, focusing on scrubbing my face so hard it feels as though I've shed a layer since that night on the beach.

It works though, by the time I'm finished I can stand without nearly passing out, I can walk without the room seeming like the backdrop when on a ride at a carnival.

I don't bother with makeup, don't bother doing anything with my hair except tie it up into a top knot.

At least I'm dressed half decent, not that it matters when I'm alone.

But my lilac skinnies and a second hand my chemical romance shirt make me feel a bit better.

I'm not usually one for band shirts, but they're comfy, and they remind me of how far the musicians on them have come.

Which makes me smile, and I guess a smile is the best thing to have.

That noise is still there when I open the bathroom door, and now I notice that it's coming from the tv.

The screen shows a game of Mario kart, which is my favorite game.

There's an extra controller on the ground, next to a cup of tea and a plate with toast on it.

I'm starving, having skipped food all day yesterday.

Jess is sitting on the ground, she's the one playing the game.

She seems oblivious to the fact I'm even standing behind her, but a second later, she pats the ground beside her.

I sit, mainly because I want the toast sitting there, which is still warm, as though it was made for me.

Jess doesn't look up, she's focused on the race she is currently coming second in.

But I can see the hint of a smile on her face.

She wins the race at the very last second, drops the controller and turns to face me.

I've never really noticed her before, well I have, but never really paid her much attention.

Before, she wasn't even in my league, which I can now see was ridiculous.

She has amazing eyes, they're hazel with flecks of amber in them.

And she looks beautiful, with a lazy smile painted on her face.

No, not painted, it's real.

Neither of us say anything, instead she picks up the second controller, hands it to me and gives me a 'game on' grin.

So we race.

It's so simple, and with anyone else it would be horribly corny, but right now it's perfect.

We don't talk, there's nothing that needs to be said.

It's magical.