Shadow of You (Editing)

Prologue

October 2016.

"I can't believe she did that to me, you know? I was there for her this whole time after everything and she just went behind my back like that?" My pathetic self sobbed through the earphone's mic. I hear a deep sigh on the other side of the phone and I could almost hear how done she is with this topic as it was already 3 in the morning, on a school night at that.

"It's okay, he wasn't worth it anyways. We were rooting for you guys but if it's like this then I'd rather not take any part on supporting this." Macy tried to sound reassuring, she doesn't know what to do nor say as it is the first time I've ever broken down like this in our 3 years of friendship.

In that moment, I hear my other best friend scoff and let out a bunch of profanity. She was reassuring, definitely in a way that could be more positive but it's working.

"I mean, I haven't talked to her since I found out from Evan about it, I wish she told me herself. Do you see how she acts like nothing happened?"

I let out as I remember exactly what Evan told me. One of the people I considered closest to my heart just kissed the guy I like. Yes, it was supposedly only a dare, but if it was the other way around, I would never do that to her. I defended her through everything, from my other friends, from the people in our school. She knew damn well how helplessly in love I was with Keith. I was invisible to him the whole time during 9th grade but I found a way to befriend him through our mutual friends and became closer since summer of that year. I worked hard for that, and since she's the new girl, from freaking Spain, she got all the attention. A lot of the guys in our school are all over her. When I heard the news, my young innocent heart experienced something it never felt before. Broken.

Then everything just connected from that feeling. I felt unworthy of anyone's love. I not only talked about what Emma did, I went on about my family issues thus leaving me and my best friends awake at 3 am trying to comfort me.

I went on for another hour about how all my life, I felt that nobody stayed for me. My mom passed away a few days after I was born that left my dad devastated and lost with three children. He went through almost every single family member to loan some money and start a new life for us. Unfortunately, it didn't go as planned. My two brothers and I were left with our grandmother and uncle to take care of us. Through my childhood years and all, the people that I see as my family was them two as my dad remarried and fled the country taking my two brothers and my new stepbrother with them. I get a message or two every six months or so from my dad. But that was basically it, he didn't care to know his own daughter, I grew up and he has no idea on what my favorite color is or what I'm actually like. Simply because he didn't care. I tried to believe that he was too busy with work and his life in Canada with the family there, but when my uncle went away too to work abroad to feed the needs of my grandma and I, he was there for me all throughout, he never misses a day, a morning, a night, without talking to me or asking how we were, so you can't blame me to feel like utter crap about my father.

I looked outside my window right on the wall my bed is pressed against. I see the moon shining so bright it almost hurt my eyes to look at it from my pitch black room. It took me a while to think while I hear the muffled noise of my two best friends speaking on the phone. The moon is there to shine for us at night, when everything is dark, there would always be something, someone that can make you realize that when there's darkness, there can always be light. Macy was bidding her goodbyes as she can barely form a sentence and let her sleepiness take over her mind and body. Alexa on the other hand, has an unlimited supply of energy, at least at times like this, she's usually dead in the morning during first period wearing her brother's oversized hoodie with a cup of hot coffee and pillow on her hand. She calls it her "school essentials".