thedeju
[it's a short story, not really thought through, since it was created in my head when I was mowing the lawn. I wrote that in about an hour. Hope you guys get the message. OH WELL :3]
You know, a lot of people get easily depressed. The sun is shining too much, the rain disturbs the process of learning, it is too cold without a blanket on, but too hot while being covered in it. The little matters, not really important, not really affecting our lives for a longer period of time. Some of us have it worse. Broken bones, cancer, memory loss. Those are the things that should affect you in some way. But they don't have to.
Lilly got admitted to the hospital the night before her prom night. She was standing on her bed, looking at the reflection of her legs in the mirror, thinking of how much weight she should lose. In reality, she wasn't fat. She used to be, but she wasn't anymore. The society broke her though, harshly enough to hurt her vision in the way that she could have never seen herself as a thin girl anymore. The night before the prom night was the sixth day she had been without food. Hunger. That is the first thing that comes up in your mind. Yes, she was terribly hungry but she had a way of fighting this crave of hers. Cutting. The razors hidden in under the bed in the violet, floral box, were not yet cleaned after the last time she used them, which was the day before. She opened the box, hearing her stomach scream. The bloody little knives became blurry, as she picked one of them. Pointing them at her hips, Lilly felt the wave of heat and then somehow fainted on her greenish carpet, dropping the razor that hid under the stock of clothes. The one to find her was her mother. Shock. Screaming. Calling the ambulance. Standard procedures. Standard reaction for a parent.
“She has been losing too much weight lately, her eating system is totally corrupted and we believe she needs a new liver”, said an old doctor, who kept on checking his watch nervously.
“New l-liver?”, her mother repeated, as if her mind did not want to accept that information. Her eyes wandered to her daughter, the asking look of her eyes made the girl feel a bit guilty.
“Yes mum. I have been drinking myself to forget. Forget him”, Lilly thought, looking down not to see her mother's judging eyes.
Him. He called her a pig. A disgusting, fat, hopeless pig. That was months ago, but it carved into her memory as if it was written in stone. She kept remembering his words every night, before going to sleep, and everyday, before leaving the bed. This is the reason she lost the weight. Fighting her own demons, trying to be better than her previous, past version. In the process, she has lost about thirty kilos in about five months. But it's not everything she has lost. The girl left her dignity, started to find one night stands for herself, just to hear random men say she is beautiful. They have never asked about her scars, they have never asked about anything, they just kept on touching her, the way she wanted to be touched by Him. The one she loved.
“You're beautiful. You're perfect”.
He did come back for her after a while, once she became thin enough, pretty enough, wanted enough. The blond girl did not want to be with though, told him it was too late, making him unsatisfied and surprised. He grabbed her and used her. Roughly. Harshly. Violently. He kept on repeating how perfect her body was, but in his mouth it sounded so filthy, so dirty. She stopped caring afterward. Her soul left her body, she stopped living, she started just existing.
Her name was on the top of the list, but she didn't really care about it. She didn't really want to live in the first place. Not until she met them.
The first person she saw while wandering around the corridor, already wearing the hospital clothes, was the brown-haired girl, sitting on the bench, reading a very old edition of “The Shinning”. Lily sat beside her and took a peek at the page.
