Beautiful Lies - Shawn Mendes

11. Stay

Reluctantly, once my tears had begun to dry, I pulled away. I looked up and was met with Shawn's eyes, full of worry, scanning my own for any signs of pain that he could ease further.

'Can you please take me home?' I whispered, my voice cracking slightly at the end.

'Of course, Soph.' He reached for my hand, and intertwined our fingers. We left the hospital, his thumb gently caressing the back of my hand, the simple action, saying more than what a thousand words could.

As we walked to the car, my heart grew heavier and heavier. A woman, that had been a role-model for me my entire life, that I looked up to and admired, a woman who I loved so entirely, would now in a matter of months be taken from me. I wondered if Nonna had told mum about it, but knowing how headstrong and stubborn she is, I knew she wouldn't have, because by saying it out loud, would only make it become too real. 

'I understand that you need some time right now, and that you don't want to talk, but just know that until you do, I won't leave unless you ask.'

I gave him an appreciative smile. 'Thank you. For everything Shawn.' I squeezed his hand as a token of my gratitude.

The car ride home was silent. A comfortable one, where the only sound was the gentle hum of the radio in the background, and the sound of my heartbeat echoing in my ears.

Before I knew it, we had pulled into my driveway, and Shawn turned off the engine.

'Soph, I don't think it's best for you to be alone at the moment, so do you mind if I come in?'

'I could do with a distraction right now.'

We spent the afternoon watching films to distract ourselves from the world outside. I managed to persuade Shawn to watch my favourite film, Love Actually, despite his protests that it was only to be watched at Christmas. So to settle the scores, remembering how he'd once mentioned how much he loved it, I promised that we would have a Harry Potter Marathon, on a day of his choosing.

As the credits for our third film finished, I looked over at Shawn, who was still engrossed in the screen. I studied the way that the light from the TV illuminated his face. The sun had begun to set, and I realised we hadn't eaten anything since breakfast.

'Wait here Shawn, I'm just going to get us something to eat.'

'I'll help you.'

'No, honestly. You've done enough for me today. Let me do something for you.'

I stood up from the sofa and made my way to the kitchen, preparing some sandwiches for us to eat. Filling up a glass of iced tea for us both that Nonna had made yesterday, I took the tray carrying the items, into the conservatory, and placed it down in front of us.

We began to eat immediately, after Shawn had thanked me profusely, even when I reminded him that it was the least I could do.

I had pondered whether or not I was ready to tell him why I was so upset, but he deserved to know, especially after everything today, and saying it out loud might lead me to accept it more. 'Nonna has a medical condition that means her heart rate is much slower than the average, and not enough blood can reach the brain, which means she will collapse often, and one of those times, she will not recover from. The doctors can't predict how long she has left to live, it could be a month to a couple of years, but the fate will be the same regardless. There is nothing they can do. And Nonna knew about it for 7 months and didn't even think to tell me.' I let out an exasperated sigh as Shawn reached over and wiped a tear, with the pad of his thumb, that had fallen against my will.

'Oh Soph, I'm so sorry.'

'I just don't know what to do.'

'Well, understandably you're in shock right now. And that won't go away for a while. But, Rosa is still happy and living right now, she hasn't gone yet. She won't want you to treat her any differently, and you need to be here for her right now. This will be scaring the shit out of her, regardless of how strong she makes herself out to be. You need to make the most of this time that you do have with her now, don't waste it being upset, because you will look back and regret it.'

I gave him a small smile, 'Since when did you become so good at giving advice.'

'Since I met this girl about 5ft 7, long hair, with the most beautiful eyes, you might know her.' He reciprocated my smile.

Even if it was only slightly, I instantly felt better after telling Shawn. It was like a portion of the weight on my shoulders was beginning to diminish, I don't think it would ever go away, but for now it was manageable. I would take each day as it came. Talking to Shawn had offered me insight on what I would come to regret, if I moped for the rest of the time I was with her. I had to be strong for both of us.

Just as I was about to respond, the soft at first pitter-patter of rain began to fall. But within seconds, it had turned into heavy rainfall, bouncing off of the conservatory roof.

'Typical.' I muttered.

'Is this usual?' Shawn asked loudly, trying to be heard over the near-deafening sound of the storm filling the space.

'Oh yeah, Italian Summers are always unpredictable. We'd be lucky if we didn't have at least one summer storm a week.' Thunder began to clap in the far distance, and striking bolts of lightning flooded the once beautiful sky that had now become a deep oyster grey.

'How long do they last for?'

'No-one knows, the longest one we've had was 3 hours.'

'Well I better start heading off then.'

We approached the front door, and I opened it, unveiling the sight before us. Rain was falling so quickly, that it became a struggle to see, and the driveway, was already becoming a mass of puddles.

'Shawn, I really don't think it's a good idea for you to go home tonight. It's too unsafe, the roads will be really slippery and it'll be a nightmare to see out the windscreen. You can stay here, at least until the storm has passed.'

'Are you sure? I don't want to intrude.'

'Honestly, Shawn. Stay.'

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