Hypnosis

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

We are living in a world of battles. Everyone have different fights. Some have someone to fight with. Some have someone to fight for. Some fights just for theirselves. And some are struggling to fight because there are no certain reason to fight for.

Life? We have life but some of us are losing its colors. It becomes lifeless. Yes, we live but some of us are dying inside.

Do you have the intention to save them? The purpose to make them live again? Do you have the intention to save and to make me live again? After all those things, do you still want me to live or just die and be free from the agony?

All of us are suffering. But there are people who have their way out and there are people who are trapped. The only way? To take their own life.

Isn't it nice to die? It only means that you are free from problems and pain. But what will happen to the people you will leave behind? Do you even think of them?

I always think to take my own life for countless of times already but my life just go on. It didn't end in that way.

I don't have the desire to live longer anymore but there are people who are holding me back. Who is the selfish? Them who are afraid of losing me and doesn't want me to be free from this pain? Or me who just think of my own freedom, disregarding what would they feel?

I'm struggling each days but they help me to get by. I'm lonely but they accompany me. They help me in many ways but they never know what I am feeling. They never know the demons inside me is slowly gnawing me, driving me to my own death.

If I cry and tell you my story, will it get better? Will everything get better? If I seek for a help, will you help me?

I tried to seek for a reason to live. I tried to seek help. I tried. But I failed.

This is the path I'm walking. A dark path I'm praying someone will come to my rescue.

I'm really afraid of this dark tunnel. I'm afraid that I might stay here for my lifetime.

I'm searching for a light but I couldn't see even just a glimpse of it.

Can you even hear me calling out for you? Or you turn deaf to my calling?

You might see me smile but it's not just the emotion I'm feeling for that moment. I might smile and that's genuine but I also feel hollow deep inside.

Are you willing to see how deep it is and take a risk to save me? Or just leave and let me be?

Will you stretched out your hand or turn your back at me?

We both are afraid so we let things be. You with your own things and me with my own. Won't you share a burden with me? Can't I share my struggles with you?

Am I supposed to live just how misery I am? Will you really leave me just like this?

If you start to walk away, won't you feel bothered and regret of leaving me alone, crying?

Well, let's hope to see each other with a smile on our faces in the future.

I will hope to see you with a full smile on your face and please pray for me that you will be able to see me with a genuine smile on my face too.

Things happen for a reason. But I don't get why all of these happened. It's 4 months already yet those months passed by feels like just yesterday. I'm trapped in December. It's spring yet I'm still in my winter.

There are times that I hoped and wished that these are just nightmares. That I will be able to wake up opposite to what happened and what's happening.