Screw High school

Shit happens

I had been suspended, not to my surprise of course. I was walking around with eyes so chink you could mistake me for someone else and my speech had been slurred as if I were drunk. I was burnt out as hell on really good weed the day I got suspended. It's been a few days now and of course I was grounded and forced to stay home.

Home, where there's nothing to do and the most bare place ever. My thoughts bombarded me as I thought about the person who I cared most about and desired to be with.

What's this kid up to?
Who's he been coolin with?
Where's he been lately?

I didn't have my phone as it was confiscated due to being grounded but my laptop stayed on my thighs most the time, since it was my only way to to text Christopher.

He hasn't texted me all morning and noon yet as he was up late most likely partying the night away. I always felt iffy and anxious when he went out as when we first started our thing he did me dirty by making out with a girl at a party which of course was heartbreaking. He of course apologized and I caved in, only cause he's the one who I lost all my innocence too. It's almost impossible not to forgive him.

"Care bear" I can hear my grandmas voice just in the other side of my door.

"Ya" I reply in a barely audible tone even to me.

"Grace" is on the phone for you.

I'm surprised a little but move my laptop off my thighs and plop off the bed, heading towards my bedroom door. Opening the door I see the phone and snatch it almost.

"Hello dude" I say into the phone in the voice we talk with each other which can sometimes sound like Mickey Mouse.

"Are you alone" she says almost in an uncomfortable tone.

"Ya" I shut my door as I speak changing my tone from goofy to serious.

"Okay... okay.. don't freak out" she says. I bite my lip.

"Chris .. and Tenessa were making out at a party last night and I have proof" the words take a moment to sink in. I can feel my legs become unbalanced and a feeling of despair lingers through my body. My heart feels like it's crumbling as I feel butterflies throughout my body, the bad butterflies. I feel sick and nauseous, my lips almost trembling. I don't feel sad just.. sick.

"Care bear" she says saying my nickname. "I had to tell you even if it hurts, you need to know. Cause chris literally came up to me and said 'don't watch' like who the fuck says that" she continues and my heart feels like someone crumpled it in their hands.

"Serious?" I mumble and let out a sigh. I can't even process this properly I'm still taking it all in. It's all so unexpected and .. plain out fucking harsh.

"He actually said that? What the fuck did Tennessa's skinny ass say?" I ask feeling anger towards the girl I thought was my best friend. "She just fucking looked at me out of her tree, she was on some other shit" she replied. "Still no fucking excuse" I mumble.

"No kidding, dude don't let this get to you. You don't need either of them, their whack as hell" she says and I sigh letting my hands find the back of my hair and I stroke it over to my right side.

"I don't understand ... I've never done anything to them.. I've been nothing but kind and nice.. doing anything and everything for them.. smoking them up, fucking you name it I done it anything to make them pleased" I grumble the rest and feel my face get hot.

"No fucking kidding" she says, I can hear the sympathy in her voice.

"You know what?" She says in a slightly different tone this time.

"No more care bear, you literally act like you care to much about others and overly nice, your to forgiving babe" she says.

"Really?" I feel stupid even speaking.

"Yes! Get your head out your ass your hotter than Tenessa and Chris fucking combined. No offence my pretty but you have a nice fucking body but you cover it all up, if you put a little more effort into shit you can have any guy wrapped around your finger. Add confidence and your gold" as she finishes speaking I can hear her munching on food.

"Do you really think that?" I ask feeling unsure of what she's saying.

"Yea!! You stop wearing those joggers and over sized sweaters it'll do that big ass of yours and those nice boobs some good" she says I actually can somewhat agree with her. But like any other girl I'll still stay classy.

"Naw man I got no tits or ass" I lie biting my lip. Obviously not very good assets if my boy is gonna cheat on me. "Dude your blind as hell, I've seen you practically naked more than anyone, I don't bullshit you know me. I'll point out any pimple or a bitch I don't like to their face" she obviously tries to boost my mood. "Aha true" I pretend like what she's saying is funny even if my heart has been thrown in the trash. "Maybe youssa right" I say looking towards my vanity, my body looks like a Twinkie with my large oversized crooks sweater, and my legs look like a bag of chips with all the crinkles and misshape. Okay I know for a fact my body actually has curves with these clothes off but I'll never admit it to anyone, just like any other girl.

"Of course my ass is right, I'm always right" she nearly chuckles, but stops herself probably forgetting the situation, as I almost did with her caring conversation.

"Told you she was a thot cracker and he was a man hoe" she says crunching down onto a chip or something crunchy.

"Ya fuck" I sigh laying myself down into my bed.

"Link the fuck up my girl" I say missing her and the way she always cheered me up. "Okay okay, give me a few I'm gonna steal some clothes from my older sister for you and bring over all my makeup. You need a sexy ass revenge photo to post, so when his hungover monkey face ass gets up he can see how hot you are" she says and I can hear her already shuffling around in the background.

"Okay then, don't make me feel emo" I say. "What do you mean" she asks. "Don't show me none the shit that happened last night" I reply feeling the sickness rise throughout my body again. "Don't worry bro" she says. "See you in a hot minute" she says. "Love ya dude" I say. "Love ya boo" she says hanging up the phone.

Okay. So a lot to take in and my body feels like shit and the best thing to possibly do is get over it and stop thinking about it.

Just kidding I'm gonna cry my eyes out, contemplate life and overthink everything!