Poor and Perverted (Older! Kenny McCormick x Fem! Reader)

Chapter 3: No Man's Land

As I climbed off the school bus, the powerful force that is sleep began slowly taking over.
Fucking amazing.
I only get sleepy when I arrive at school, because god hates me.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
Just don't fall asleep during math and you might just survive.
Looking over at the school, I mentally prepared myself for today and began walking towards the gates.
Before I could even step through, I noticed a familiar ravenette in a blue chullo behind the gate, holding a cigarette between his lips as he flipped me off.
Craig Tucker.

When my family first moved to South Park, 6 years ago, it was hard for me to make friends. Not only because I would constantly get myself into trouble, but also because I wasn't exactly the 'friendly' type. Although I was never a bad student, most teachers despised me. Mostly due to my attitude and behaviour.
I don't blame them. The shit I did as a kid was insane. I still don't understand how I am even allowed to go to school. Long story short, my reckless behaviour would always land me in either; A) the Principal's office or B) detention.
Craig and I met on the first week of school, when I was caught stealing juice boxes from the Cafeteria, and I don't mean stealing 2 or 3 boxes, I stole 80 mother fucking juice boxes. I'm not even sure how I carried them all out of school in my tiny bag, plus they are really heavy.
It turns out that one kid, Eric Cartman, snitched on me, because I didn't share with him. What do you expect? He was an asshole. Still is.
The next day I was called into the Principal's office and after a long lecture about how stealing is wrong and all that shit, it was declared that I have a suspension and three after school detentions. This didn't exactly faze me or my parents, to say anything is that they were very impressed, but not mad. Earning a suspension led me to having to spend the school day in a classroom with Craig.
Since we were alone, pretty much the whole day, we quickly found that we have a lot in common, making us friends almost immediately. After hours of what seemed us just fucking around in an empty classroom, we got an idea.
"Dude, lets leave." I suggest.
I saw Craig perk up at the idea.
"Leave how?" his nasal voice still present to this day.
"I don't know, like jump out the window or something." I continue, standing up from my desk.
Craig looks around the room and back at the clock.
"We will be here for another 5 hours, including our detentions, we don't have anything to lose." I plead, hoping that he will agree to my offer.
I hear Craig sigh deeply and spread his lips into a canny smirk.
"Lets do it."
Our plan was to leave through the window, one at a time, so the one outside has some time to run away while the other distracts the teachers.
This plan was not only unsuccessful but it also got me sick, since I was supposed to be the first one outside and all I was wearing was a loose shirt and pants. This got us into even more trouble, but we didn't really care.
From then on, we would do all this crazy shit together landing us in that same old classroom after school.
Recently though, we don't get to hang out as often no more. He has his own group of friends and I have mine-
Oh, wait never mind, I don't.
It was fun while it lasted and not to leave this on a very depressing note, but we are still friends, just not as close as we used to be.

I grinned at Craig and proceeded to flip the bird right back at him. If you looked closely enough, you would have noticed that he gave a small smile my way. The boy then hid behind the gate and, what I'm assuming, fled to the back of the school.
An issue began getting debated over in my head; whether I should follow Craig or go to my locker.
I checked my phone.
07:52
I mean I still have 8 whole minutes before needing to go to class.
Fuck it.

I hastily followed Craig to the back of the school, where seniors would meet daily to either makeout or smoke.
I squeezed myself through the small gap between buildings that allowed you to enter the place that was reffered to as 'No Man's Land' by the students of South Park High.
Rounding the corner, I saw Craig lighting another cigarette. He glanced over at me and pulled out a pack from his pocket. Without hesitation, I pulled one out and popped it into my mouth. The lighter was brought up to the cigarette sticking out in between my lips, but no glow appeared.
God dammit, don't give up on me now, lighter, please...
"Guess it's out of fuel." Craig explained as he tossed the dead lighter to the side, taking another drag.
I sighed, somewhat disappointed and took the cigarette out of my mouth, toying around with it in my hand. Then I got an idea.
"I'll light it with yours." I said and placed the cancer stick back inbetween my lips.
I pulled myself closer to him, letting the tip of my un-lit cigarette touch Craig's lit one(lmao).
Fuck. This is kind of awkward. Our faces have never been this close to each other.
In the end, I was successfully, with the help of Craig, able to finally light my long awaited cigarette.
"Thanks." I took a long drag of the cig and let the smoke flow out my nose.
Craig simply nodded and looked up at the morning sky.

"Do anything fun over the weekend?" I glimpsed over at the raven as I tapped the cigarette with my finger, letting the ashes get picked up by the cool spring breeze.
"Went to see Deadpool 2 with Tweek, Clyde and Token, but we had to leave 10 minutes in."
Why am I not even surprised that I wasn't invited?
I mean, I've already seen the movie four times, but an invitation would still be nice.
"Why's that?" I slightly tilted my head and blew out the smoke through my mouth.
"Tweek couldn't handle it, with all the blood and stuff."
Of course someone like Tweek would never be able to sit through a movie like Deadpool, let alone the second one. What was he even thinking when he invited the poor blondie to see it.
"Makes sense, but I can't understand why you would take Tweek, out of all people, to see such a gruesome film" I said smiling ironically, while subtly hinting at the fact that I had been available to go to the movie as well.
Craig shrugged.
"We just didn't want to exclude him."
Wow. Just wow Tucker.
This was the last straw. I don't want to make a big deal out of this, but it's pretty fucked up when you invite all your friends to hang out, except one. My heart sunk slightly and my face was now heated from all the frustration and anger. I breathed deeply and was finally able to calm myself down. Releasing the trapped smoke between my lips, I closed my eyes for a second and put on a playful grin.
"Why didn't you invite me then, huh? Or are the days of our rebellious friendship in the past? " I tried joking around, concealing my actual feelings.
The atmosphere of the conversation didn't make my confrontation seem salty or shady, which was obviously a good thing.
"I didn't think you'd wanna go, you saw the movie like, what, five times already?" his nasal voice deep and a hint of amusement in his eyes.
"It was four actually, but whatever. I guess..." I mumbled quietly, somewhat offended.
Craig let out another gust of the tobacco infused air and I heard him yawn. Immediately after, I was triggered to do the same, the yawning working like a chain reaction.

Eventually, the feeling of betrayal disappeared and I was back to my usual calm self. This was most probably due to all the hits Craig and I just took.
To break the hardly noticeable awkward pause, I decided to make an offer.
"Want to meet up during lunch and take a trip down to Mickey D's? We haven't hung out in a while and I just happen to be in need of a buddy to take part in some mildly criminal activities." I winked at him slyly.
"If it's another dozen chicken nuggets you'll be trying to smuggle through the kitchen, then count me in." he answered, spreading his lips into a canny smirk.
Surprisingly, Craig was showing an unusual amount of excitement for his type, but then again, it's McDonald's we are talking about, who can blame him.
I grinned back at the raven and nodded. I threw my already spent cigarette on the partially muddy ground, stepping on it and twisting the sole of my shoe. This created a hollow dimple in the ground, which left my black boot dirty.
Yeesh, it's good these are platformed and waterproof.
Craig used the brick wall as an ashtray and then threw the used cancer stick to the side.
We sneaked back to the front gates of the school and then inside the building.

The halls were weirdly empty and it was quiet. Me and Craig walked through the school in silence, eventually parting ways to get to our lockers. I waved a small goodbye, so did he, and headed over to the locker numbered '21'. I entered the password combination and grabbed my Math and Psychology textbooks.
Roaming through the deserted halls of the school, I heard a loud crash. Upon turning to the source of the noise, I saw two guys practically fucking each other against the lockers.
"Get a room." I murmur angrily, wondering how they still weren't caught by the hall monitors.
I shake my head and continue walking to my registration period.
Just as I arrived at my home classroom, I noticed that none of my classmates were present. Instead I saw kids from a lower grade be seated at our desks. Only then it hit me.
I'm late for my Maths lesson!