Thoughts of a Teenager

first..

Writing to yourself because nobody understand, explaining to yourself because it seems hard to let those words you keep inside to come out. Maybe for a second you thought there will be no longer the"I KEEP MY THOUGHTS FOR MYSELF" saying, because for a moment you feel like you finally had found that person who you can share with the most of your thoughts. You feel happy of course and you'll say "LIFE ISN'T THAT BAD AFTER ALL" when actually life is going to be very harsh on you, and you don't even know that or feel it or get a sign so you can be prepared for the hardest periods you're going to get through all alone, no one by your side to support you and give you those words you want to hear to keep push in and in until the sun finally decides to shine on your way no, you will be completely alone all by yourself just you and your endless thoughts which most of them lead to negative results  right? You forget how to be positive. You start thinking about telling your parents about your killing thoughts but no you dont because you know even your parents might not get you. You feel like you're lonely very lonely, some people may have deperession of that, and some others can't take it anymore and take the wrong path to walk in;thinking that it'll make it less painfull and  much easier to get through it.  In the other hand we got different kind of people; the sober ones, the ones whom believe in god truly, the ones whom know that this is all a test and you'll get through it in the end maybe not easily, might take you most of your life but not all your life. This kind of people believe that god's trying to teach them lessons and all they have to do is to look, observe, think deeply and most important rightly. Those are the fighters, believers, brave people, not the -i can't take it no more- type of people but the-if life is trying to teach me lessons to make me wiser and older then why say "why me?" Rather than "try me!"- type of people.