hot milk >> bullied by waterparks

🕊

so i got home and watched pokémon. it's my favourite show, next to 13 reasons why. as i see pikachu attack another pokémon, i think about how good it would feel like to finally defend myself towards awsten and his friends. i am getting tired of all the bullshit he's putting me through. his two different coloured eyes staring right through me as he laughs at my humility. it's getting tiring. i love the two people standing with me through it all, but my family? they have no clue what's going on. they think awsten and i get along swell, and that's just because our parents are friends. he may be my bully, but we've known eachother for 10 out the 16 years of life so far. he used so be so nice when we were little, but then i accidentally him in the face with a basketball and everything changed. i guess the grudge he held was serious, until it turned into pure fun. now i suffer through every gross slur, or name i'm called, he spits at me and kicks me, he knows i won't tell because both of our sets of parents like him more, so they'll more so believe him, since he makes sure to never leave bruises on me. at least he isn't racist and doesn't say the n word. you know what, i think it's time i have a change in attitude, i'm going to fight back tomorrow, no matter how painful or scary it will be, i will look him straight in the stupid face with his stupid blue and green eyes and his stupid nose and his stupid lips, those stupid never chapped lips, and the sparkle in his stupid eyes, the pretty sparkle in his dumb fucking eyes. i'm gonna get my revenge.

-----time skip-----

i was getting ready for bed, i decided to drink hot milk while listening to hot milk by snails house (a/n listen to it!! it's a good song!!!)  i was calmed down and in my pajamas, just a tøp tank top and some shorts with hearts on them, and i got all cuddled up and started to drift off to sleep, going into dream land.

-----in the dream-----

i was in a wedding dress, it was beautiful, my bridesmaids who look like family friends i haven't spoken to in a while were all smiling wide at me, the traditional wedding music was playing, i smiled, it must be me and daniel's wedding that i've been fantasizing since our one month. i enter the alter once all the bridesmaids and groomsmen had entered, i was holding my dad's arm and was excited, i am literally lucid dreaming a wedding for daniel and i, but then i realize, the mop of hair i see at the end of the alter, isn't the chocolate colour daniel has, it's actually a faint purple. once i reach the end of the alter, i realized it wasn't my boyfriend, but it's the one and only bully, awsten knight. he smiles at me as the pastor is reciting stuff you'd hear at a wedding when awsten speaks up, interrupting the pastor,
"why would i love you, dirty bitch." and he pushed me, i was suddenly falling down a long void of nothingness, right as i felt as if i landed, the dream, well, more so a nightmare, ends as i jolt awake.

what. the. fuck. was. that. it's time to get some sleep, and not dream about that horrid boy. tomorrow is the day i fight back.