And there was nothing poetic about it. A depression story

There was nothing poetic about it

I'd like to say it was like being trapped outside in a cold rain positive that the sun would eventually rise but knowing I wasn't truly able to do anything until then.
I'd like to tell you sometimes the rain isn't so bad and I could eventually learn to dance in it, but this time I wanted it to go away;
And there was nothing poetic about it.

This wasn't a, she hid her tears behind her smile and forced on a broken mask 'I'm fine' tumblr poem.

This was the disgusting reality.

barely even able to turn over, still feeling half asleep. My rib cage felt like a pack of brick that I had accepted long before that I couldn't get off.
the self deprecating words echoed from your mind every so often as you lazily blink at the ceiling with empty eyes and nasty pale bags. You sit here all day not able to do anything, not having the will to do anything.
until you feel something awful making its way up your throat, a nasty bile which causes everything in your head to spin until you empty the contents out into the toilet
You need to eat and there was nothing poetic about it. But there was nothing inside of you that craved.
As you walk back to your prison of a bed your eyes flicker over to your craft supplies, You never even gave the clay cutter razor blade you use for painting a second look because deep down you knew that if you wanted to die you would just do it, and what a scarily pleasing thought that was.
You slowly turn to stare at the orange medicine bottle sitting by your dresser
All the thoughts echo back into your mind thoughts and didn't even make sense, they didn't need to, because oh how pleasing it would be if you were gone.
Ripping yourself away from the bottle, every step you look felt as if you were walking through heavy syrup, you lay back in the soft bed once again chained down staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep, unable to move. Not yet knowing if you could even make it any further.

And there was nothing poetic about it.