There are many things that I speak of every day.
Gossip
Truth
Some little white lies to make a persons day better... or worse, I'm a still a bitch after all.
But, I never speak of the things I TRULY want.
I spent so much time thinking that my own wants don't matter for so long, I've basically pushed them to the back of my mind without a second thought.
No longer will I do that.
I'll speak of the days I wish that I was spending with friends instead of moping around.
How I want to go on endless road trips out of state with them.
How I want to make memories with them while we're still able and we don't have our own responsibilities.
How I want them to know that they mean so fucking much to me that it hurts when they think I'm distant.
How I want them to know I love them even if I'm an ass to them.
How even if we haven't talked in a while that I'm thinking of them everyday.
But there are other things I want that don't involve my friends.
Like,
How I want adventure and affection and the endless want of simply feeling like I belong or that I'm wanted by anyone.
I want cliche things in life but I also want the unexpected.
I want sweet words whispered to me every day no matter how feminine it may seem.
I want people to know that I'm generally a happy, outgoing person but I've hidden that behind the sheet of ice I've molded into a perfect mask.
I want someone to finally shatter that fucking mask dammit.
I want someone who doesn't see me as some hormonal teen but something to be cherished.
I want to say things to certain people to brighten their day.
I want to say things to certain people to help them see clearer.
I want to scream that I finally think I love someone.
I want to tell the ones that love me that I know of their feelings and I want to cry cause I can't return them the way they want me to.
These are things I want so fucking bad and I've never really said them out loud.
Alas, why I posted them in this book because that's where they belong.
Cause even if they haven't been spoken doesn't mean they are any less significant than if I had.
-------------------------------
A/N Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk XD. It's 3:28 a.m. and I can't sleep and thought of this shit. Probably won't be posted til later cause I wrote this with no internet and will post it later and yadda yadda yadda. But for real, I love all of the friends that read my book and if I have people that read this shit thing I don't personally know, then I this applies to you too.
Anyway
I hope everyone who actually reads this has a fantastic fucking day or night and I envy you for being able to sleep normally. My body has forsaken me and I have no idea why. (T-T)
