Hello. My name is Darren Shan. I am a random loved-by-many-teens vampire.
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Where did I go wrong?
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One day I was walking down a sidewalk dangerously close to a pit of stakes (don't ask me why, it seems like its the only thing vampires do these days). Why in the world did I come? I don't know myself. I guess it gets boring up there, being immortal and all.
It is the year of 2014, I think, and things have escalated downhill a lot from when I was with (SPOILER ALERT)
Mr Tall as a little person and gave him a book, which ultimately became a novel. FORESHADOWING, GUYS?!?! Anyways, the final book was made in 2006 (I hated the ending) and that means it has been 8 years since I was last rich ( I mean MR. TALL WAS RICH). Now all I see are a bunch of houses with people on computers watching, what is it call? Oh yeah, YouTube.
Also, guess what? I am a full vampire! I am soooo happy! The purge finally worked! Good thing it is night time.
I wonder what to do today... oh, I got it! Why don't I meet some of my old friends? That would be so fun! And I can flit now, sweet! I start running away from the stakes and toward a tall mountain... Vampire Mountain.
I reach the Mountain soon, gasping for breath (dangit, I forgot again). I go through the halls, trying to avoid all the princes (specifically Paris). Why are there no vampires here? Weird. The tall halls are very memorable, and dusty. They look old. Disgusting.
There must be someone here, right? Just then I hear a footstep. Then another. Then another. Is someone here (well, I know someone is here... I mean... who is it?)?
"HELLO???" the voice said.
Oh no.
That sounded like Paris.
I desperately look for a place to hide. I'm in a tunnel-like corridor. There is no place to hide. I curl into a ball, hoping he wouldn't see me. How wrong I was.
"I see a small boy curled up into a tiny ball with black hair who almost looks like a friend I knew called Darren!"
How the heck does he do that? I stay in the same position, hoping he'll leave.
"DAAAAAAAA@AAAAAAAARRRRRRRREEEEEEEENNNN!!!"
I go deaf. What a relief.
"What do you want, Paris?" I say.
"Oh my gosh, Darren is that you?" Paris asks.
"Oh my gosh, you are still alive?" I retort, brushing away the dust from the halls.
Paris nods, "Yeah... funny story-"
"Yeah, I don't want to hear it," I interrupt.
There is a silence a Paris makes this weird look as if he was taken aback.
Awhile later, Paris says, "So... why are you here? This place was abandoned a while ago."
I seem surprised at first. I am about to ask, "Then why are you here," when I get a different idea.
"Everything is gone? Do you know anyone who lives here?" I ask.
"Umm... I know a creature that lives here... I think they are those doggone wolves."
"You mean Rudi?" I suddenly think for the first time in a while how that puppy 's doing.
"Who's Rudi?" Paris asks, then he catches my annoyed expression and says, "Yeah, even her."
"Uhh, I THINK ITS A 'HE'." I hiss.
"Who cares about silly ol' genders anyway?" Paris asks.
I scoff then try to find a good excuse to leave.
"I think I am going to meet Rudi now." I say.
Without waiting for a response I leave. Surprisingly Paris seemed pretty sane this time. Pretty. Now that I think of it, I sorry of want too meet Rudi anyways. Ugh, I have to go through the long halls though.
It took a while, but I met Rudi later. Rudi is the cutest, and most annoying, puppy you could think of. Oh yeah, Paris is right, Rudi seems like a girl name, eh? Well, it's a boy. Who fangirls about me a lot.
When Rudi sees me her ears perk up and she screams, "OMG U R DARREN HI". When did I learn how to undestand wolves? Whatever.
"Hi, Rudi," I say, "how are you today?"
"OMG I AM FINE THANK U FOR ASKING," Rudi squeals happily.
"Please don't speak in caps," I tell her. It is another thing that annoys me. I am a really annoyed person I guess.
"oh sry" Rudi whimpers.
"And please use proper puncuation," I say boringly.
"Ok."
"Good enough," I smile at her, "how is your dad, Shrek - oh I mean Streak?"
"Thats his name? Cool!" Rudi barks, "And yus he is fine."
"Okay, cool."
Rudi licks my face. I push her... I mean him away. Disgusting. Bad puppy. Gross.
"Sry. So how is it liek at parasite?" Rudi asks, "Itmustbereallyfunbecauseyoumeetallthevampireprincesandeven-"
"Woah, stop right there!" Darren pauses Rudi, "Do you mean paradise?"
"Oh yes, sry... stupid autocorrect."
Don't question it, Darren, just go with the flow. I think. Life has become really confusing. And random. I hate random. And everything else.
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TO BE CONTINUED
