My happy place

The doctors here tell me to look for my happy place when I feel anything, but what if I don't have on.

2 weeks earlier.

"You are so stupid!! You are the biggest mistake I have ever made! I told your mother to have and abortion! YOu were never meant to be alive." My father yelled at me. 

"I'm sorry." I managed to get out under my cries.

"You should be. You ruined my life! I was only 17 when we had you!" 

"It's not my fault!" I wailed. 

"Yes it is! Go to your room."

"Dad please just talk to m.." My father had taken his hand a smaacked it across my face. For a moment a didn't feel it. My pain was replaced with shock. Then my hand rushed to my cheeck. I held the spot that had been hit. It was a burning feeling. I breathed heavily as I sprinted to my room. I slammed the door and fell to my knees. Anxiety filled my whole body. I felt worthless, stupid, a waste of space. Why was I alive, I mean my own father hated me.

I slowly got up and wiped the tearfrom my eyes. I trudged into the bathroom and to the medicine cabnit. I searched around for pain meds. I saw a variety of bottles and colors. When I noticed what I needed I quickly grabbed them. I looked out into the hall and saw my dad was now passed out from drinking to much. I went back into the bathroom and locked the door. 

I trembled while I opened the bottle. I poured the maroonish pills into my hand. My body was shaking. I put the pills into my mouth.I sallowed the first one and then continued to takåzsre them all. When the world around me became fuzzy and I became dizzy I laid on the icy cold floor. I curled up into the fetal potion and let my eyes close. I couldn't open them. I didn't want to though. 

**********   ***********   **********  **********   ***********

I woke up in a room filled with doctors. I had I.V's in my arms. I heard the beeping of the heart monitor.  

"Dr.Fields she's awake." A petite girl said. She had large bouncy, brown curls and eyes that matched. 

The man I identified as Dr.Fields rushed into the room. He was a bald, older looking man. He had gentle eyes and a kind smile, kinda like my Grandfather.

"Let's get her of the amnesia and take out the I.V on her left arm." He ordered to the nurses in the room. A tall, blonde guy took the I.V out. I slowly fell back to sleep.

**********   **********   **********   **********   ***********

The next day I felt a lot more aware of what was going on. The doctor told me that they had to pump my stomach. He told me the small details of what had happened, but I can't remember the medical terms. 

When I asked him who had brought me he replied with "Your older brother....I think he said his name Tanner." I asked if I could see him and the doctor nodded. 

After a couple minuets my brother walked into the room. "Why did you do this to yourself?" He asked.

"I just...Dad he..."

"Just tell me."

"Nothing then. Okay I just...I don't know ok."

"Well the doctors talked to me about something. They think your should go to a health care center. They think it'd be best for you to work through your issues and because your suicidal they want you to be watched so you don't try this again."

"Health care center? Suicidal? Issues?" I repeated.

"A health care center. With people who are going through things similar to you." He replied.