About Junior. A blissful kiss.

Me, myself and my feelings.

I could say this has been the best night of my life. I could. I will. This has been the best night of my life.

It started raining again, the storm is back and I am in my room sitting in the darkness. Darkness. What a sad word. I don't really like it.

I still find it difficult to believe that it actually happened. As a matter of fact, it is not so hard to believe what had happened, rather what is about to happen. I cannot believe that he is giving me this chance, that he is choosing me, allowing me to accompany him.

I am pulling the blanket over my head and I am overwhelmed by this explosion of emotions in my chest. Many I can recognize, but many are new, unknown to me. I am scared I will lose control and I will give in.

Happiness: I cannot avoid but smile when I think of what just happened. Everything and everyone seems so much more beautiful all of a sudden. I am happy to be where I am.

Pleasure: I feel at ease. I liked it and I am already looking forward to the next one.

Fear: All of this comes with a big responsibility. What if I do everything wrong? What if he does everything wrong? What if we end up broken?

Anxiety: What now?

Excitement: Why are my hands still sweating? And why do I miss him already?

Shame: What will his family think? What will my best friend say?

Affection: I just want to hold him in my hands. And caress him. And kiss. For hours.

... : Yes, I want that one as well...

Admiration: He.Is.So.Freakingly.Brave. And beautiful.

Enthusiasm: Dates. Cinema. City trips. Concerts. Beach. Mountains. Hiking. Everything with him.

Self-doubt: Am I exaggerating? Am I idolizing?

Insecurity: He does like me, right? Otherwise he wouldn't...

Yes. I feel all of this running through my veins at this particular moment and I like it. I embrace it because it makes me feel alive. I shall not be scared.

I am not scared.

I am in love, I believe.

Sincerely,
Blas