Saviors [A SVU and Bensler Fan Fic]

[Chapter Twenty-Four]

"Marge just started as a women who would talk quietly to me to try and get me to talk. To talk about the bruises on my body, to talk about what happened to my mother in the park the fateful night I was put into foster care. The night I found two people who loved me more than anyone had loved me my entire life. She taught me how to be a woman, one who didn't hate more than love. She gave me a sister, as she opened her heart another time to a foster child who needed parents. But in the end, Marge turned into my mother. She turned into my role model, the one who I tried to make proud. I can never describe how much I loved, no will always, love her." I  spoke, as I stood in front of everyone at my mother's funeral.

My father sat in the front row, Cynthia next to him. He had his arm draped of her shoulders to try and calm her, because she was sobbing loudly. For not being a Cragen for that long, she was absolutely destroyed when our mother died.

"Uh, thanks." I breathed, as I slowly walked down from the small platform, and I walked towards my father. He reached his other hand out to me and pulled me down next to him. I leaned into his side as he kissed my head gently.

"That was beautiful, Livvie." He whispered, and I nodded slowly.

"Thanks, but I wish that I would've told her that I loved her more often. That I'm thankful for her... for both of you." I whispered, as Bernie went up to speak.

[*]

After the funeral, there was a luncheon at my grandmother's house, but since I knew how she truly felt about Cynthia and myself, we went back to Manhattan. Elliot's mother drove all three of us back, and as Elliot sang to every song on the radio, I tried to fall asleep.

I was feeling so much pain, and everything seemed to make my heart ache more for my mother. I wanted to hug her one last time. I hear her as she sang while making dinner. To feel her gently kiss my forehead before she left my room at night after checking on me. I just wanted everything that every child ever wants.

I just want my mom.

[*]

7 Months Later

"Can you just smile like normal people, please?" Bernie asked, as she stood in front of us with her camera in hand. Elliot, Cynthia, and I had just gotten our diplomas and now everyone wanted pictures of us. But we all just wanted to get in the car and head on our summer road trip. We wanted to travel across the country, but before we go anywhere out of New York, we had to go see my Dad.

He had moved to Albany and everyday he went and visited my mother's grave and ate most of his meals there. No one could tell him that he needs to get back to work, to move past the death of his wife, because even if he tried he would never be able to move on. To find someone who made him as happy as Marge made him. It also didn't help with the fact that he is drinking again, and all of those years of being sober went right down the drain.

"Mom, please! We gotta get going! God, no more pictures!" Elliot groaned, as he quickly took his cap off and walked towards the car. His father called after him, telling him to stop being difficult, but Elliot is difficult by nature.

I smiled at Bernie as she took a pretty good picture of Cynthia and myself, before I walked towards her and hugged her tightly.

"I'm going to miss you girls so much." She sighed, as Cynthia joined in on the hug.

"Are you not gonna miss Elliot?" Cynthia questioned, as she smiled softly.

"Not really. He's being a butt recently. I'm surprised that he graduated from high school. And no offense to you, Liv, but he has been really distracted since he's always over at your house. But at least now you guys are out of school and he doesn't have to worry about homework right now." Bernie replied, and I nodded slowly.

"Yeah, I've tried to help him with his work, but he's just trouble lately."

Bernie laughed, before she walked towards the car to say goodbye to her son. Cynthia and I went back into the school and changed into jeans and t-shirts, before heading back out, just in time for Elliot to start beeping the horn.

"We're coming, Stabler! Just shut up and calm down!" I yelled, and he grinned as he turned around to look towards the road.

I looked over at my sister and smiled.

"Are you ready for the best summer ever?" I mused, and she nodded as she grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

"So ready. Thanks for letting me tag along." She smiled, and I grinned.

"We invited you from the start. Even if Elliot and I are dating, there will always be room for you, you're one of best friends." I smiled, before quickly hugging her tightly.

[*]

We made it to Albany by dark, and we drove to my father's apartment. We were going to crash in his living room and leave early the next morning. Elliot wanted to go to DC to see the White House and "other amazing American stuff" as he described it to me when we were planning our trip.

"I hope he's here. I know he usually has dinner with Mom..." Cynthia frowned, as we walked down the hall. Our father still talks about our Mother as if she is here. He talks about the great talks they have, and how he can still smell her on everything, like before.

"I know that he misses her, and you and I do too. But some of the stuff he does sounds like he is crazy. Like sometimes he sleeps at the cemetery next to her grave." I sighed, as I lowered my voice as we got closer to the door.

"Sounds like nut job to me." Elliot whispered, and with that he received a hard blow to his stomach with my elbow. He groaned as he doubled over. Cynthia knocked on the door, and after a few moments, a woman opened the door.

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