enigma.

eight

"Mother, what are you talking about?"I pretended to be lost.

"Janet, don't play with me. I'm your mother, I know you. Not only that, two years ago I saw that man sneaking out of your back door then two weeks ago I saw you feeling on him on live tv like you're single. You're sleeping with him."

I could no longer deny what my mother said. I put my head down and prepared myself for the lecture and sermon I was about to get.

"Janet, you're engaged. You're getting married next year. Did you forget about that big proposal you got in front of all of us and your friends? Rene loves you."Mother crossed her arms.

"In my defense, I told him that I wasn't ready to get married. I'm still kind of young. I want to live."I sighed and rubbed my hand across my face.

"Janet..honey, you're 27. When I was your age I was married with six children already."

"Don't I know it?"I mumbled under my breath and rolled my eyes. "I'm not the only one still trying to live. What about Michael? Michael doesn't have children."

"Michael is married and Michael isn't cheating on his wife either."Rebbie jumped into the conversation.

"I never said I was sleeping with him. Y'all said that."I rolled my eyes.

"You didn't have to. Your body said it for you and so did that big red mark on your neck."Rebbie pulled a mirror out of her purse and handed it to me.

"Rene called here this morning worried sick about you. He said you left last night to go to a party and never came home, he sounded so worried."Mother shook her head at me.

"I told him you were here because you didn't want to drive home drunk. Janet, I won't lie for you again."Mother pointed a finger at me.

I knew she meant that, but a small part of me didn't even care. A lot of me didn't care, actually.

"Yes, mother. I've got it."I nodded my head mentally cursing myself for being so transparent.

"Wow. I can't believe you, Janet. You'd think that with everything you've been through that you wouldn't put somebody through that same hurt. Karma is real, Janet."Rebbie crossed her arms. "Is Rene not enough for you? Why do you need two men?"

I took a deep sigh and put my face in my hands. Why did I come over here again?

"You don't get it."I let go of my breath through my nose. "Rene is the perfect man. I love him. He's a good man. We just don't connect. Now, Bill, on the other hand, he isn't perfect but he's worth it. The way he — nevermind."I had to stop myself before I got too engulfed in the conversation. Even talking about him set my body on fire. It was what he did to my body,  what he did to my mind. He was the blueprint.

"Janet..honey. I think you should just stick with Rene. This little game you're playing with Mr.Bill Bellamy will blow up in your face. Karma is real, honey. I don't want you to get hurt."My mother grabbed my hand and kissed it.

"Listen, you know im all for doing what makes you happy, but how would you feel if Rene was out here cheating on you? You didn't like it when James did it to you."Rebbie put her hand on her hip. She was trying to make me feel guilty. It was working. I had to go.

"It's about time I go home. I miss my bed."I stood up and headed for the door.

"And your fiance?"Rebbie added in.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Maureen."I rolled my eyes before walking out to my car.

-
I walked into my home, ready to hear an earful from Rene, but to my surprise he was nowhere in sight.  I sighed of relief and went to take shower. I knew for a fact I smelled like Bill and I had to hide this thing on my neck.

I put my hair up into a ponytail and let the hot water run along my neck and shoulders. I was getting careless and I needed to be more careful.

"Hey, baby."Rene smiled as he stood in the doorway. He pulled me into his arms and kissed my lips. "I take it that you had a good time last night. Why didn't you call me? I would've came to get you. I know how you hate to be away from home."He caressed my face.

"I was too tired to do anything. Besides, I didn't want to wake you. You need your beauty sleep."I smirked at him and wrapped my arms around him.

He looked down at me with that special look in his eye. I knew what it meant. I knew what he wanted. I just didn't know if I could do it.

"Baby, you know it's been awhile."Rene bit down on his lip. "You've been so busy lately."He started to pull at my towel. It fell in slow motion and I was in front if my fiance naked. For the first time in maybe 2 months.

He grabbed at my hand and pulled me over to our bed. I dreaded this. It wasn't that he was bad at it. Bill was just better at it. He went longer at it. He wasn't afraid to be rough with me. Rene treated me like porcelain, like I'd shatter.

I laid back on the bed and he made himself comfortable on between my legs. I knew this was wrong, but I couldn't give myself away. If I told him he couldn't have it he'd get suspicious. I knew I didn't want to have sex with him though.

He started to kiss me softly on the lips, I wanted him to get nasty with it. I wanted him to grab me by the throat and choke me with his tongue. I wanted him to turn me around and give it to me like I had done something wrong. I needed passion like fire. 

"Oh fuck."He started to push in and out of me slowly. He started to kiss all over me but stopped abruptly. Like he noticed something.

"Who's party was it last night?"He stopped and looked down at me.