Lots Of Love, Riley.

1

Dear Best Friend,

I was waiting for you to come out of the shell when I noticed that the only shell that was standing between us was mine. That was the moment when I finally understood why you'd told me that I wasn't good enough or funny enough or nice enough. 

Because I had never come out of my shell. 

I had been trapped in the insecure walls and whenever I tried to step forward, they stopped me. I hit a dead end and walked straight in to them without a single thought to spare.

I never revealed how capable I was because I was too afraid to show you the real me. I was pretty sure you'd run away. Because I wasn't perfect or pretty. 

I was flawed. 

But that was completely fine by you, wasn't it? 

I guess I just didn't realize it. You ran away because I was too guarded. Darn, I drove you away and if you knew how much I regretted it, you might come back because I am ready to do anything.

I am ready to hurt myself if it means getting you to come back. 

Please come back, Shawna. You don't look nice in the grave. 

Lots of love,

Riley.