Might be My Biggest Regret

Chapter 1._Long story Short

In mid. December, every "normal" sixteen year old girl would be worried about having a date to the prom, wearing the best dress, or being nominated prom queen... I mean, I would be like that, if I didn't have more important things to worry about; like how to survive my gloomy life.

Then again, every teenager would say the same thing.

Let's see, oh yes... Maranda Jakson. The tall, skinny, blonde, blue eyes, little-miss-perfect-looking, obviously the most popular in our school... I always hear her whining about her so called "miserable" life; I don't think having a bad hair day is defined as "miserable"... she wouldn't last a day if she were me.

I remember writing in my diary when I was younger... as a sixteen year old, it would be weird in so many ways to write in it...but... right now it seems like the perfect time to do so... I haven't written anything in it for ages... but now's the time... since I'm sitting in the school cafeteria like a loner... yeah did I mention... I have no friends!

So here we go.

Dear Diary:

It's funny how everything changed in a matter of minutes... as if someone ripped my heart out of my chest.

I saw my father fall onto the ground, face down, with blood all over the place. The sound of the shooting echoed in my year. I felt as if I was being punished. But for what? I was only a fourteen year old girl. What did I do to deserve this? What did I do to deserve seeing my father murdered right in front of my eyes? Or see my baby brother cry his eyes out after our mother died of Pneumonia?

I remember him being all optimistic and hopeful that she would survive the disease, while I knew all along that there was nothing we could do about it; and yet, I let him believe, believe that there was a chance, that somehow, we would earn enough money to pay for moms' treatment.

I have to be honest, for a short time, even I thought that there might be chance, after my father told Skylar that a "nice guy" was willing to help us. And that "nice guy" turned out to be the murderer.

He was a drug dealer; my father, thinking that he was our only chance got involved; the dealer ended up wanting more money from us than we could afford; and since we couldn't... in a cold, icy midnight... he... he shot my father.

But I wasn't the only witness, there was a boy, a bit older than me, maybe fifteen, looking out the window.

That's not really important.

It's been about two years since then, but still feels like yesterday.

Money, stupid pieces of paper... my entire life turned around just because of stupid pieces of paper... I remember not seeing my dad for days, since he was working for hours and hours so he could pay the rent.

After losing both parents, I had to take care of Skylar.

For more than a year, I sent over a thousand applications to places like Subway, Tim Horton, and Wendy's... but heard nothing back from them... apparently, they only hire people "over sixteen"; obviously they needed more "educated" people...

After what seemed like sentries of pain; wondering around streets with nowhere to stay; I decided that I needed a plan that can save my innocent little brother from this hell we call life... honestly, if it wasn't for Skylar, I would've committed suicide like a billion times by now! But since I can't leave him in this bizarre "situation" or see him act like everything's fine; I started going to high school a few months ago; maybe after I graduate, finally I can find a freaking job that could pay for our living for the rest of our life. And plus, Skylar started elementary school... I haven't seen him this happy since the....the night it all started. Being around kids his age has affected him in a really positive way; and maybe even me...all we've seen for the past year and a half were drug dealers, homeless, and more homeless...

yeah... life as I know it sucks!

And there goes the bell... off to science... yay... forty-five minutes of torture.

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Hey guys so, this is the first book I'm writing... So I have a lot of space for improvement, I know. And that's why it would mean so much if you guys give me feedback and also checkout the second book I'm writing "A.R.S (Awkward.Relationship.Status)" so please give me feedback on both stories. Oh yeah and don't forget to vote! Thanks ^_^