Pregnant By A Pimp

Confession

I barely slept last night. When I did, they were nightmares.

Yet all I could think about was... Mark.

My alarm rang even though I had woken up 3 hours ago. Could I bare to go to work today? Could I bare to even get out of bed?

I forced myself to get up. I brushed my teeth and hair. For breakfast I poured myself some cereal even though I didn't eat any of it.

I forced myself to put on my bra and panties.

I then realized that I don't want to go to work. I wanted to never show my face in public again.

Is this really all I am? A slut who has sex with men for a living?

Or a whore who just got raped.

The only time I've ever felt this low was when my mom died.

I made just under $5k yesterday. It seems like those sick perverted men like me. I didn't even care. None of this was worth it.

I plopped my body back to bed and broke down in a waterfall of tears.

I sat there and cried for a good 30 minutes until my phone rang.

It was Mark.

I accepted the call.

"Hey. Where are you? The girls are all here getting ready."

"Go to hell, Mark." I said holding back tears.

"Are you... crying?"

"No. Bye."

I hung up.

No one should ever feel how I feel right now. Lauren isn't here to comfort me. Why would she? I'm just a dirty slut. I don't deserve her.

Usually we would go to Target and buy all the snacks we could and watch our favourite show together on Netflix, Pretty Little Liars. But she's still in Cincinnati with her parents.

I decided to do just that. I still had a little cookie dough ice cream left over.

I was halfway through my second episode until the doorbell rang.

Bloody hell. Who's here. I swear, if it's Mark...

Yep. It's Mark.

He opens his mouth before I slam the door in his face. I never want to talk to that dirty scum bag ever again.

"Please, Elle. Hear me out." I hear through the muffled sound of the door.

"What the hell do you want you bastard."

"I want you."

Oh my gosh. Why did I have butterflies in my stomach when he said that.

I open the door to see him holding a bunch of red roses and a hopeful look on his face.

I let him in.

"Sit down."

We both take a seat on my leather couch.

"First of all. How the hell do you know where I live?"

"Elle, you're my employee. It's on the files." He responds with a smile.

His smile made me feel better.

"Why are you here?"

"I want to know why you weren't are work today."

"Well, I was going to come later. You shouldn't of came here."

"Elle, don't kid yourself. The way you sounded on the phone made me concerned." He said while brush a loose piece of my hair behind my ears.

"You can't expect me to come into this industry without a few setbacks. Don't get familiar."

I was lying. I want him. But I shouldn't.

"What happened baby? Andrea give you a hard time? You can tell me."

"No." I said trying my hardest to hold back the flood of tears building up.

"Then what? You can always tell me. I'm here for you."

"IM FINE! NOTHING HAPPENED!" I yell at him. A stream of tears ran down my face with no sign of stopping.

"Ellie, please I'm begging you to tell me, what happened?"

I flinch as Mark reaches out to touch my shoulder.

I look down at my feet, wonder whether I should tell him the truth or not. I should tell him. He's my boss and if I can't come to work I have to tell him right?

"Mark I-" My voice trails off. I look back up to Mark. He has a concerned look on his face.

"Ellie I'm begging you to tell me what's wrong."

"I.... I can't come to work today."

I couldnt tell him why. It's not like he can do anything to change it.

"Ellie, I know you're new to this but you have to come into work. If you didn't want to do this then why did you accept my offer?"

"That's not- never mind Mark just go." I hung my head down and pointed to the door.

"Its not what? Ellie, tell me what is wrong with you!"

I get startled by the tone Mark spoke to me with. I felt tears trying to escape my eyes.l but I held them in.

I have to tell him.

But... I cant.

I shake my head, "Mark, leave."

"IM not leaving until you tell me what's wrong."

"I WAS RAPED! AND ITS YOUR FAULT!" I push him through the door.

He pushes back in and brings me to a warm hug.

My face planted into his shoulders, which were now wet from my tears.

"Shhh. It's okay. I'm sorry."

I realized that he was the one that put this on me. I quikcly pulled away from the hug and pushed him back out the door and locked it.

"GO AWAY!" I cry.

"ELLIE OPEN THIS DOOR NOW," he starts jiggling the doorknob.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" I drop to the floor and started sobbing. I know it's not his fault but I guess I have no one else to put my blame on at the moment.

Marks POV:

After that, I left.

On the drive back to work I kept on thinking about Elle. I hope I didn't make her day any worse than it already was.

I think I'm falling for her.

"And it's your fault!"

Those words echoed in my head.

Is it my fault? What could I have done? She's the one who got herself into this.

"Good God Mark, it's not the victim's fault." I thought to myself as I head back to Seja Massage.