Nightvale Fic CTD

Arnie's Escape

 "The unwinding sun hides the truth. Look through it and see what is behind. Welcome to Nightvale. Hello beloved listeners and residents. Today is a another hot day with normal temperatures of over ninety degrees. I am sorry to inform that Thursday has been cancelled. So that means that the annual toy boat ceremony will have be rescheduled. Though I suppose the boats wouldn't be all to useful in our fountain, considering the water has been frozen for the last three days.

On a brighter note, Nightvale Community Radio will be collaborating on a scientific journey that is being conducted by perfect Carlos. With his perfect hair and perfect teeth and -- hm? What? Oh yes, sorry. The operation is going to be performed by our trusty local mailman and brother of Big Rico, Arnie Goldblum. Station management has told me, well, sent me a letter, saying that Carlos is going to try to see if he can get Arnie out of town. I personally don't understand in the slightest why anyone would ever want to leave our perfect little town.

Alright, it seems that Arnie is beginning to drive east right now. His cameras are currently showing several rocky mesas and it looks like there is another town on the horizon. It might take some time to get there so let's go to another story. Today we have a very special guest at our very own station. The one and only person from Desert Bluffs to ever enter Nightvale! Let's hear from them now." *silence* "Hello?" *silence* "Oh, I suppose people are supposed to have eyes and teeth. And skin. And legs. Oh well, you folks at home just keep your radio on and I'll be back when Arnie can recognize the town on the horizon.

Hello again lovely viewers, and I welcome you back to Nightvale Community Radio. I have returned to inform you that Arnie Goldblum has begun to be able to see the town he is pulling up to. Since we have placed cameras around his car, we can see some of the buildings now, and they have a bowling alley like ours, a clock tower like ours, and a -- wait a minute. That is our town! Are you sure you didn't get turned around Arnie? Oh, it looks like Arnie is turning around to the west. Good luck this time Arnie. Looks like he's pulling out a television remote? No. It is probably an ingenious device designed by the perfect Dr. Carlos. Looks like Arnie is going to press a button. And, there it goes! Oh dear, that doesn't look too good. For you viewers at home, the cameras just went black, except for the ones in the car, which seem to have stopped moving for the time being. The cameras placed on Arniere all seeming more black than I have ever seen before. Well, let's have a word from our sponsor, Shell Gasoline.

Do you need any gas? Well Shell can give you all of the gas you need including natural gas, diesel gas, mustard gas, phosgene gas, and much much more! We do not condone any inhalation of any gases we sell.

Thanks Shell gas! Make sure to visit our local gas station which is southwest from our local gas station. A breaking report from local imaginary corn and peach farmer, Larry Leroy. A body that was missing all bones and internal organs was flung up his basement stairs today. Larry says that the driver's license is difficult to read but he thinks the name might be Ernie. Strangely enough, we have never known of anyone named Er --

News on the experiment performed earlier today! The body of Arnie was found by Larry Leroy in his own home! His corpse was thrown up Larry's basement stairs today and we have identified it as Arnie Goldblum indefinitely. On other news, the underground city found under lane five at the Desert Flower Bowling Alley has been creating wailing sounds, loud enough to hear from where I am sitting. Several side effects may include ear bleeding, temporary deafness, and sound distortion. Under no circumstance should you try to look down into land five, as several attempts have resulted in tiny projectiles and explosives being fired at the eyes of the onlookers.

Another anonymous dragon sighting has been reported today. The dragon was confirmed to have at least four heads, so keep four of your eyes out on the watch. Also remember that if any yellow objects begin to whistle, you should contact the secret police and run as far away as possible. I am obligated to say to try not to exceed the speed of light while driving please. That wraps us up for today. I would like to thank you for tuning in. Goodnight Night Vale, goodnight.