The Alluring Shade of Emerald Green

The Alluring Shade of Emerald Green

He walked up to the counter. He held The Maltese Falcon in his right hand. He set it on the counter, and then looked into my eyes, and I fell effortlessly into his. His eyes were as beautiful as the ocean. It felt as if him and I were the only humans in existence. He broke eye contact to look at the book in his hand and laughed, "I sorta need to check out this book."

"Oh, oh! Right.

"My name is Hope."

"I'm selena."

I smiled and looked at the book he held in his hand.

"I love that book."

Everything reminds me of him. The drip drop sound when a raindrop falls, the blue sky when the clouds are absent, the bitter taste of hot black coffee; but most of all, the color green.

The city of Portland was small compared to the rest of the world. Hope made it big. He'd take me somewhere new each weekend. He'd take me everywhere on his motorcycle; and I would watch his curly sand colored hair flow in the wind. Who would have thought that our flirtatious friendship would become the greatest love story of my life; and that he'd give me a beautiful emerald ring as a promise he'd never leave. That ring is the biggest trigger.

Hope found me when I was heartbroken. Then, ironically, he left me heartbroken. I am lifeless. Now I live in the same routine every day. I get up at noon, get ready, work at the bookstore beneath my tiny apartment, go back upstairs, drink till I can't function, then I pass out on my couch. There's never a change in my day except for the occasional grocery run. I'm a horrible example of how to live a functional life, and I'm aware of it.

The feelings of being betrayed, abandoned, and numb are addictive; just like whiskey. John Steinbeck once said, "It's so much darker when a light goes out than it would have if it had never been shown." I can relate.

I spent months of pretending he didn't die. I even thought that he could have faked his death; on our third date he said he had spent a while running. After I remembered that I spent days examining every statement he ever said that I remember. Then more days physically looking for clues on where to find him. But here I am today. Absent of my love, Hope; and absent of the feeling of hope.

As I walked down stairs I thought, I just have to accept that he's gone."

I walked behind the register. I heard footsteps and looked up. In shock, tears trickled down from my eyes; and I ran to hope.

"The guy I owed one grand; He's finally dead. Remember? I told you I was running."