ONE
People just don't get the amazing feel when you finally finishing your favorite book for the millionth time, or grasping the first couple pages of yet another adventure that has your eyes grazing each page until you reach the very last period marking the end of the very last sentence of the book. Honestly who doesn't love books. I mean books are what probably me happy and distracted from things.
My friends call me Elle but my full name is Noelle Grey.
I have dirty blond hair that falls just above my shoulders, I'll be wearing a hood over my head with earphones in my ears, books (that don't kill you), and 90% of the time i'll have an irritated look on my face. I'm not actually irritated i'm just the type of person who thinks a lot
usually quiet too.
But incase you didn't know sometimes quiet can be really dangerous in some cases. Not in my case anymore, I'm just kind of...numb. Can't really feel for people. I try not to get offended when people compliment me saying i'm beautiful, pretty or hot.
I feel like they're lying to me. It's not them it's me but that's okay.
I thought freshman year would be fun. I mean it was sometimes but there was always that sad lingering feeling attempting to twist it's way into my brain making me feel doubtful about a lot of things. Most of my rational feelings were caused by my famous ex boyfriend Andrew Hindler, who sadly has my virginity and a fat chunk of my dignity who also became a famous YouTube/Viner and now has 40 million followers. Lovely. We went out for a whole semester until i told him i needed some space sometimes because i couldn't hang out with him EVERYDAY. One day i was hanging out with my friend Caden after school after the dj class i take and a group of girls who supposedly where their thought i was cheating on Andrew since Caden had his arm around me.
Obviously they didn't know i was friends with Cayden since preschool and the big fact that he's gay (everybody knows it). Cayden says that Andrew's really hot, that any girl or even a guy like him would perfectly happy being his boyfriend.
Andrew called me exactly 34 times that night while i took a shower, i finally answered when i got out and he accused me of cheating on him. But he said it was okay because he was feeling up some chic named Tia at this party he was at a hour ago. I don't think i've ever felt so betrayed in my life. Was this some sort of game to him?
If someone cheats on you they don't love you. If they cheat on you they don't care if you're crying every night. If someone cheats on you it means for a split second you were off their mind long enough for them to replace you for a bit when those arms were meant for you and only you.
"We're having the talk".
"Um yeah, i just want to talk to you about something".
"What did i do?"
I clearly remember his guilty face when my mouth opened to speak. I should have talked it over with him more but it was too late. I really loved him.
I did.
Around him i felt like someone actually understood my feelings, he actually liked me... he made me happy. The real kind of happy, not the kind where it doesn't last as long. One that filled me with warmth something that was actually better than pizza (hot or cold). Andrew was a total dork, he would blast my favorite song "Counting Stars" when i would come over and he'd pretend to be Ryan Tedder and sing to me while i'd dance on top of his couch.
"Noelle, will you count my stars?". I'd giggle when he'd say that.
"What's so funny?" Smiling into the phone.
