heart-shaped box - losers club one-shots

Broken//Stenbrough

Trigger Warning: Self Harm, Brief talk of Abuse

Bill Denbrough hadn't thought about actually going through with this plan. He usually would try to dismiss it but this time he just couldn't. He wanted to feel something, anything.

He fiddles with the blade between his index finger and thumb and then rolls his sleeve up past his elbow. The blade kisses his forearm. Bill's index finger deepening the kiss until his maroon blood runs down his arm and trickles down the sink drain. All he could do was cry.

His salty tears streaming down his face, mixing with the fresh cut making it sting even more. All he could think of was the Losers finding out, especially Stanley. Bill tried to dismiss the thought of liking a boy. It wasn't normal. Not only did he like a boy but the boy was his best friend since the second grade.

Bill hasn't been the same since Georgie died, the Losers noticed. Bill was going through a lot, Georgie being gone, his parents being more and more absent out of his life, his sexuality, and puberty. He doubted anyone cared about him anymore, he wanted to disappear, these thoughts come and go, mostly at night when he's all alone.

The blaring alarm clock read 6:00 am. Stanley woke up and went along with his schedule. He got up, made his bed, took his neatly folded and ironed baby blue polo shirt and khaki pants that were sitting on his desk from the previous day.

He made his way to the bathroom to take a shower. He ran his hands against his damp curls thinking about the night before. He got this... Feeling. A feeling of guilt and hurt. A feeling that one of his friends was not alright. He paid no attention to it but thought maybe he could have done something about it. After showering for exactly 5 minutes he got out, put his clothes on, and brushed his teeth. He saw his dad walk out the mahogany door as he pecked his mother's cheek.

"Do good in school, Stanley. I expect the best from my son." he winked at Stanley. Not a moment too soon he was gone. Stanley had breakfast and started riding his bike to school, trying to ignore what would happen if he didn't do his work. He would end up going to school sore and in bruises. It's happened before, a few times. He just shrugged it off saying "I fell down the stairs." He didn't want to ruin his dad's reputation as the Rabbi.

"Hey Beverly, Ben, Richie, and Eddie. Where's Bill?" Stanley secretly wanted to see this boy because he knew if one of the Losers would hurt themselves, it would be him. No matter how strong or independent he may seem, he needs somebody at all times by his side. Stanley knew that but he couldn't spend every night at Bill's.

Bill walked up to the Losers. Richie cracking crude jokes about Eddie's mom and Eddie trying not to laugh. Beverly was talking to Ben about poetry. Stanley immediately spotted Bill's pink puffy eyes and dark circles. His pale skin not doing a good job of hiding those features.

He takes the other boy's hand and runs into the restroom, he knew nobody went there in the mornings.

"Bill, look at me, are you alright?" Stanley said with full concern in his voice.

Bill was more interested in his shoelaces than the love of his life at this moment.

Stanley took this as an invitation to wrap his arms around Bill's torso. They both blushed. Stanley resting his cheek against Bill's shoulder and Bill hiding his face in the crook of Stanley's neck. The hurt boy tried hard to keep his tears where they should be but the comfort of Stanley sent him back to the day he heard that Georgie had died.

The day went on, Stanley was checking in on the boy he loved. The boy who changed his life. The boy who made him question everything about him marrying a woman.

All the Losers decided to go to the Quarry. Stanley was confused as to why Bill had long sleeves in the middle of summer and refusing to go in as they were getting undressed. This was his favorite part about the warm weather. Stanley waiting behind, wanting to talk to Bill, alone.

Beverly went first, getting a running headstart.
"Sissies"
As she descended gracefully down the cliff, Ben couldn't help but watch her. The way her red hair shined in the sunlit sky was enough to make Ben melt. She was the spark in his heart. He snapped out of it as Richie scoffed and yelled,
"That's not what your mom said last night." Ben immediately leaped in the water, wanting to get closer to this mysterious redhead he couldn't keep off his mind.

Richie took Eddie's hand in his as he could feel his best friend trembling.
"We'll go together alright?" Richie said letting his caring side take over, which was only really revealed to Eddie.
The smaller boy nodded his head.
"1,2,3!"
They said in unison, only letting their hands go when they jump.

This was Stanley's chance. He hugged Bill, maybe too tight. Bill winced in pain as Stanley squeezed his cuts underneath his sleeve. Stanley felt him and immediately let go. Bill shuddered at the loss of contact but then felt it again when Stanley curiously lifted Bill's sleeve.

He saw what he wished he never saw. Three fresh red cuts on Bill's forearm. Instead of pushing Bill away in disgust like Bill had imagined, he pulled him closer, hugging him tightly trying to avoid his left arm. Bill could feel Stanley crying which made him a stuttering mess, trying to talk through his sobs.
"L-look S-Stan, I-I didn't m-mean too. I-I j-j-just couldn't sh-shake the i-i-idea out of my head this t-time."
"Bill, I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you. I feel terrible if I was there last night-"
Stanley was cut short by Bill.
"N-No Stan i-it wasn't y-your fault."
Bill said quite certain with himself, but maybe it was kind of his fault for being so goddamn adorable and charming, all Bill wanted to do was kiss him all over.

They pulled apart and Bill noticed Stan's tear stained cheeks were red. His brown eyes were like a pool of sweet hot chocolate in the winter season. His bottom lip was a purple from him biting it so much the previous hours. Bill even saw the bite marks disappearing ever so slightly. His curls were perfect dirty blondish springs. Stanley's lips were perfect, like everything else about him. It took Bill awhile to notice Stan looking at his lips too. It Stan a while to make the first move.

He put one of his hands on Bill's lower back pulling him slightly closer although they were already close enough, the other one cupped Bill's cheek making him come back to reality on time to realize what the taller boy was doing. Stan started leaning in, with that Bill did the same. Their lips like puzzle pieces fitting into each other perfectly. Just as Stan imagined, Bill's lips were soft. Their kiss was warm, full of passion.

Bill realized what he was missing out on, Stan did too.

After that day Stan would monitor Bill and they would intertwine their hands proudly, or at least in front of the Losers since they were closeted gays living in a homophobic town. Their relationship was like Richie and Eddie's.

Absolutely a dream come true.

Aha sorry if this sucked, as I said in the description this is my first book. I've read a lot and finally decided to make one. Oof I liked writing it and I hope you guys like reading it. I doubt anyone is going to read it though.💕

word count: 1,310