The night is sombre with an overcast of thunder due to the recent announcement of another expedition. The drops of the steady rain are the only sound for miles. Candles from the scout regimens castle dimly light the halls as I reach for the door handle.
What am I doing?
I start to hesitate but before I could break into a sprint the door opens. My eyes suddenly look into the greenish-blue orbs that wear his every emotion.
"Mikasa? What are you doing here?" Eren sleepily asks.
"C-can't sleep.."
We absentmindedly stare at each other for what felt like an eternity looking at every aspect of his face.
"Did you want to talk?"
I snapped out of my trance and prepared my years worth of practice and worry of being rejected.
I have to do this.. otherwise, I don't think I could ever do it again.
"I just have a bad feeling about tomorrow and the expedition... it's just if something were to happen I could not forgive myself. I need to tell you that I Lo-"
Instantly I regret opening my mouth, his face is scrunched up with anger trying to keep his composure, taking a deep breath.
"Mikasa I'm sick of you tell me that you'll protect me. I'm done I can handle it." He grits his teeth.
"I-I ... that's not- I just wanted to say"
"I mean it Mikasa, don't start with this again" He warns me as I don't register as to what he meant by again.
"Just listen to me! All I'm saying is that I'm worried and I-"
He blew up. Words spewing one after the other like disgust for the person before him, me.
"I'M BLOODY SICK OF YOU and all your BULLSHIT. Stop CARING because I stopped caring ages ago. HECK regret going over to your house that day. Get out of my face."
Not even a second before, the door slams shut with a deafening sound through the corridors. Cadets were watching from afar from their dorms shocked from the show displayed late at night. Nothing registers to me except his last few words. Over and over like a record player that won't stop and haunts for eternity.
He regrets going to my house.
He regrets coming to me.
He regrets saving me.
He regrets everything.
Get out of his face... forever.
I force myself to move. Move my feet because as long as I get to my room, I wouldn't have to face anyone with the familiar burn coming in my eyes. It's started. The facade broke and tears stream down my face. I have to run faster. No one can see me like this. No one.
Why me?
If Eren gave up on me... I'll give up myself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nothing prepared the scout regimen for the shock of the death of one of the greatest soldiers of all time. Nothing prepared Eren after trying to come up with an apology for their argument the other day, only to be sent away to get medical help. One worth 1000 men but taken away by just one.
Without a weapon, but one without a heart. The death of Mikasa Ackerman found locked in her room with the emergency knife and letters scattered around the area. Some covered in scarlet red blood seeping into the handwritten letters.
The expedition was cancelled. Friends were consoled and were asked about seeing any changes in Mikasa's behaviour only to find out from her letters that she left behind.
Most of them said goodbyes and the great years of friendship but only one was the ultimate truth in her thoughts and giving up.
Dear Eren,
I'm sorry. I gave up. I lost my will to fight. But I never knew until tonight.. that I lost you.
I hope you will be happy now. Since I'll be out of your life you won't have to be 'babied' by your 'big sister'. All I wanted was the be there with you. Always. Why didn't you understand? Why wouldn't you listen to me? What else could I have wanted? For you to love me the way I feel for you. You said you didn't care. I know now. I just had that little sliver of hope.
Even though you did regret saving me. I'm still selfish because I want you to hear out on what I actually wanted to say to you that night.
I love you. I love you that much, I just need you because I won't be able to breathe. Your my life. You gave me the will to live and I thank you for that. I love you no matter what.
I still do. I could never stop myself from loving you but I gave up on myself like you did for me.
Goodbye Eren
I still love you even if you pushed me further away than I could have possibly imagined.
Tear after tear. Holding slowly torturing himself as Eren painfully slides his back against the wall, holding on for dear life trying to regain that composure that had been ripped away and replaced with the depth of emptiness.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I love you, Mikasa. Come back..."
The sobs echoed through the halls haunting that day and the last vivid memory of Eren's mistake. The day Eren lost every last family member but this time he did the damage himself.
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Hello readers! i hoped you enjoyed it!!
I get that it is short but that's what a one-shot is right? I'll post the next one if you guys are interested in depressing alternative world.
Sorry if there is any mistakes :)
Leave a Comment about how the story should continue and what you think <3
-C.Ling
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The Damaged Done to the Beloved - Eren x Mikasa ONESHOT
Fanfiction"You were like my mother. You were like my best friend. You were everything i wanna be & all the good inside of me there's never been." The greatest tragedy of human life is not that we perish, but that we cease to love. The tragedy is not that pe...
