" I like Cam. I don't want to, but I do. Please, don't hate me."
14 words, that's all it took to ruin a friendship of 5 years.
Don't get me wrong, my bestfriend had every right to be upset...If her and Cam still went out.
Walk with me down memory lane as I show you how I led up to telling her this.
*2 years earlier*
I was 15 and starting my sophomore year. My bestfriend, Sarah, who is a freshman and also 15 had the biggest crush on a varsity baseball player, Cam who also went to our church.The bad news being that I have known Cam since I was 5 and had a crush on him since we were 12.
Sarah knows nothing of this. So she likes him, he likes her. Typical right? Anyways, she starts falling for him and they go out a few times, take a few breaks and during those breaks Cam warms up to me.
If you know me, which you don't then you know that I am down on myself alot. I'm bigger than the average size 2 which means yes, i'm one of the dreaded plus sized girls *bum bum buuuuuum* meaning that if a normal persons self esteem is like this [________________________] then my self esteem is more like this [_______].
Back to my story, Cam always tells me that i'm not fat and that I'm beautiful, fairy tale right? Precisely, until my bestfriend, who IS your average size 2 jumps back in the picture. Of course, me being me drops my feelings to the back burner, waiting on the day when she will finally be done with him so that I might actually get my chance.
*Present*
So now, after 2 years of on and off being in love, Cam calls it quits. For good. He wants nothing to do with her romantically, but considering we all go to church together he has to be her friend for our youth groups sake.
Which leads me to where we are now, on the beach in Corpus Christi with our youth group. Everyone says there is always that one boy who looks cute on church trips, a.k.a. your CCC Church Camp Crush well, for me, it's Cam.
Every single stinkin' trip. and the good thing is that we are considered the "older kids" of the youth group now, him being a senior and I a junior so we are pratically always together. Perfectly romantic setting, right? At the beach, hardly any adult supervision, perfect.
That is, until he tells you that the two of you have too many awkward moments together and that he is uncomfortable sometimes. It's like what the heck :/ but every person has their bad judgement calls. This was mine.
Welcome to my crazystupidbusylonelylovelessathleticGodfilled life.
