Shawn Mendes Imagines

A Little Too Much

warning ⚠️: involves suicidal thoughts and cutting. if you get triggered over these kinds of things, I advise you skip this chapter..

{637 words}

Y/N POV

I only cut when I'm alone. If Shawn found out he would force me to stop. I didn't want to do it but.. the hate was getting to me. Every where I went, I got a disgusting look from a teen girl, that is a fan of him. They hated me. They called me all sorts of names and Shawn tells me to just ignore it. It's hard. So I started cutting. It relieves me.. of all the stress and pain. I want to just end it all, but I can't put Shawn through the pain. I loved him too much for that..

Warm tears fell from my face as I picked up the blade and made all kinds of cuts in my thighs and wrists. The front door opened.

"Babe you here?" My boyfriend, Shawn, shouted throughout the house.

Shit. I threw the blade in the trash quickly.

"Yes, I'm here." I said back. I came out the bathroom and he smiled at me.

I faked a smile. I wasn't happy. He looked at my in confusion.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing.." I said not making eye contact.

"Yes it is, don't lie to me y/n." He said sternly.

"Nothing! Im fine, now can we please move on." I said rolling my eyes, now frustrated with him.

He grabbed my wrist non-forcefully. "Please tell me." He said. I winced in pain because of the cuts.

"Oh my, whats wrong with ur wrist?" He said. I pulled my hand back, trying to hide it.

"My wrist is fine." I said. He grabbed my hand and looked at it.

"Shawn!" I shouted. He looked at my wrist. I didn't make eye contact.

"Y/n..." he began. He sounded so heartbroken.
"Oh my gosh, how long has this been going on, and is there anymore?!" He said.

"Shawn, I'm fine, it doesn't matter. And since you know about these.." I showed him my thighs. "You mine as well know about these too."

"Yes it does. This could turn into something big, than it already is." He said. "Look me in the eye, please."

I looked up and his cheeks were slowly darkening into a red tint.

"What is that all about anyways?"

"It's that hate Shawn. I can't take it. And I'm really sorry, I know you want me to ignore it but its hard, babe. It really is. I just want to end my whole life, but ur the only one stopping me from doing that. I can't put you through the pain, I love you way too much for that. I'm sorry." I said. Tears were now streaming down my face as I broke down in front of my boyfriend.

He pulled me in his chest pressing my head against his heart. "You are worth it. And don't ever forget that. Sometimes, it all gets a little too much. I know you're gonna be okay, we're all the same, I understand how you feel. No one is perfect, and in my eyes, you aren't far from it. I will always love you, for you, not for who every else wants you to be." He said.

He wiped my tears away and kissed my cheek.
"Thank you Shawn, I really appreciated that." I said and slightly smiled. Real this time. He smiled back and hugged me.

{so, this story goes out to a few people who have actually struggled with anxiety and depression. just remember god put you on the earth to make a difference, don't take ur live away. shawn will love you when nobody else will. you have a purpose, don't forget about that ~ your new friend, Lauren💞}