Beautiful Lies - Shawn Mendes

16. You Don't Look So Bad Yourself

Needless to say, I barely slept that night. My mind was on overdrive with excitement, preventing me from any hope of getting some rest. I hadn't really been on dates before, obviously I went on one sometimes with Jack, but they weren't really dates. They were more just going to each other's houses and watching a film and ordering a takeaway, which was no different to our usual routine when we were together. And after we broke up, I only went on a couple of dates that some of the friends from school set up, to try and help me get over Jack.

But the funny thing was, I never needed to get over him, I was content with how our relationship ended, and I think we both knew we were better as friends: there was no intense spark of chemistry or passion in our relationship, neither was there in any of the dates my friends organised, and I thought I most likely wouldn't find it. Ever. Films, television programmes and books, set up this false persona for love, one that is always perfect, and both people always get along, which in reality, couldn't be further from the truth.

No real relationship, is without its faults. And I was adamant about this, that I would never meet someone so wonderful, and inspiring, and beautiful, that the stability with Jack was the best I was ever going to get - until I met Shawn.

Sleep usually came easy to me. When I was asleep, I was completely out of it, and wouldn't wake until late the next morning. The fact that I was struggling to drift off, was very unlike me - and it was then that I knew, how much this date obviously meant to me. I was more excited than nervous, yesterday consolidating the fact, that there was nothing to be anxious about, because when Shawn and I met, it was anything but awkward or terrible, but nonetheless small tingles seemed to flutter in my stomach every time I thought about it. My mum always said that nerves were a good sign, because it showed you truly cared, and I was starting to believe her on that one.

I looked over at my clock which read 7:30 am. I decided it better to get up and distract myself, rather than lie in bed dwelling on what i already knew in retrospect, would be an extraordinary night.

I decided to ring my mum, seeing as I hadn't spoken to her in a while. After, Shawn and I's initial meeting, when I hung up the call, I rang her back when I got home, and she didn't hesitate to ask me endless questions. At the time, not wanting to tell her about Shawn just yet, I told her, a waiter had come to collect our order. Even now, I don't think I'd tell her about him, not just yet. My mum and I got on so well, and I did tell her most things, it was just some pieces of information are better to be kept to yourself, and away from the ears of a nosey mother.

Though Italy was an hour in front of England, I knew I wouldn't be disturbing her by ringing her at this time - she was usually awake at six anyway, that was one of the only things that made us different. She was a morning person, and I was the complete opposite.

I dialled her number, and she answered within three rings.

'Hey honey! How're you? What're you doing up at this time?'

I laughed. 'I'm asking myself the same thing.'

We chatted for a good half an hour, I told to her about everything that happened with Nonna, and it turned out she had known for a while, but didn't want to say anything in case it ruined my summer. I didn't blame her to be honest, because I would've done the same thing if I were in her shoes.

We also spoke about Fliss, and how Dad and Violet were doing back at home. It felt good to talk to her again, it was strange not seeing her everyday but in truth, I wasn't really missing home - I was having too good of a time to really notice, and I knew I was going to go back, I wasn't staying away forever. Hanging up the phone, with a request to give Violet and Dad my love, I got changed and ate breakfast.