Tired. Tired. I feel so tired. It's so tiring. I listlessly go to my class, ignoring everybody.
It's not like they pay attention to me. Or maybe they do. Because of my damn face. So superficial. It only adds to my misery.
With some people still flocking me and trying to chat. Come on people. Sheesh. Don't you get it already. I don't wanna associate with any of you. Do I have to be rudely blunt.
Still, I nodded in greeting, smiled a little and flopped down on my seat. And placed my head on the desk. So they won't bother me anymore.
I looked out of the window. It's a pretty sight. With many trees and a beautiful garden. But it's boring.
Is there anything interesting in life?
-----------------------------------------------------------
It's not like am depressed or anything. No. It's just that I feel drained? Every people I meet, every chat I have, just sucks out the energy.
Is it weird, if I prefer solitude, but still try to find something interesting?
Well actually, my mind is quite an active place. And it can keep me occupied for several hours. And quite frankly, I hate it when people Interrupt me in those moments.
It's just that sometimes, which borders to rarely, I crave for a company, which can compliment mine. Who can put opinions on matter on which I debate. Who can give me a different point of view in life.
Who can make this world a little more interesting.
-----------------------------------------------------------
I sigh, as the chatters of the most noisy group fill the class and enter my ears.
God knows, how can they be so energetic and happy so early in the morning. When the only thing I want to do is just get by today and return to the solitude of my room.
As I sigh tiredly and look out of the window, someone knocks my desk.
It's Arthit. The most popular and energetic person of the class. Just seeing him makes me feel exhausted.
I quirked my eyebrow.
"We are going out to this new restaurant today. Wanna hang out with us after class?"
Well this is new. I have been invited several times in the beginning. But due to constant refusal, they stopped asking. What changed?
If I was any normal person, I would have gladly accepted, but this is me, so,
"Thank you, but I'll pass"
His smile dropped a little, but he still emphasised.
"Ok, maybe next time", he smiled.
I smiled back.
There would never be a next time.
-----------------------------------------------------------
I was lying on the terrace and chilling. Actually, it's one of my favourite things to do when the sky is cloudy and the atmosphere is pleasant.
It's cool and calm. I can restore my energy. Hardly anyone comes here, so it's silent, with just the sound of pleasant wind blowing.
I smiled. This feels so good.
" You are smiling", someone interrupted.
I opened my eyes, Arthit. Why is he here?
To my annoyance, he laid there beside me.
Oh no, what if he starts chattering. I mentally sighed.
But the break ended, with no words coming out of his mouth.
He got up smiled, and together we went to class.
Strange.
-----------------------------------------------------------
From that day onwards, Arthit joined me in my regular napping sessions. He would come. Lay down beside me, close his eyes and say nothing.
And me? I don't mind. As long as they don't start sucking my energy, its totally fine.
Sometimes, he would come sipping a pink milk and bring me an iced coffee. I was apprehensive about it at first. But come on, he's my classmate. Atleast, I could trust him this much.
Right?
----------------------------------------------------------
After half a month passed, my curiosity got me and i asked,
"Why"
"Why what", he asked with his eyes still closed.
"Why do you come here, day after day?"
"Am waiting"
"Hmmm...for what?"
"For you.......to open up to me"
I snapped my head towards him and stared at him in disbelief.
"But..but why?"
Arthit chuckled," for a guy who's always brooding, you sure are dumb"
He opened his eyes and turned to look at me,
"Because, I want to see, what you see. I want to know, what you think and I want to be, where you are. Is that enough?"
"But..why?", I felt foolish asking the same question again and again.
"Because...you are interesting. I want to see, what's going inside that head of yours. I want to be the person you allow to reach. I want to enter your world. Question is, will you?"
I blinked my eyes. This boy sure is strange and persistent. Never had anyone tried so hard to know me. Never had anyone tried so hard to understand me. Never had anyone, so far, interested me.
Maybe, just maybe, I was waiting for a person who is willing enough to break my walls. Patient enough to bear with me. And persistent enough to not give up.
And maybe just maybe, I felt tired because of waiting for that person for so long.
And maybe just maybe, I won't feel tired anymore.
I smiled widely as he shifted his gaze nervously.
"Sure, I was waiting for you too"
------------------------end-----------------------
