Author: MarwaAngelaEnrique
Genre: Adventure
Target Readers: 13+
1. As a writer too, I'm trying to lessen using NANG as a start of the sentence. Personally, guilty ako rito pero gusto kong i-share sa'yo kung bakit ko ito sinasabi. As much as possible let's refrain filler, so we need to be strategically precise on forming a sentence. The minimize sentence with direct words the better. Read the first sentence on the blurb. Naramdaman mo bang walang impact.
Suggestion:
Pinaslang si Reyna Lurline ng Babaria ni Haring Frodo, kasama ang ibang pang pinuno ng limang kaharian.
2. Setting – you did confessed me about your story that it was historical. Apparently, the year is not specified. The setting can justify that it was yes, historical. But why is the medium doesn't parallel to the supposed dialect of historical characters? Kindly check this one.
Watch your choice of words too. Do some research if necessary
Like tagapagprotekta can be replace with Tagapagligtas na si Maximus
3. Characteristic
Reyna Lurline – Kung baga kay Duterte nakita ko ang will niya para paunlarin ang bansa, ngunit dahil nga sadyang may mga swapang at makasarili ay hindi nagwagi ang kanyang adhikain. Behavior is fine. Most of dialogue is off.
Check her dialogue: "Huwag ka ngang mag-isip ng ganyan."
"Wala kang ibang gagawin kundi ang ngumiti, okey?"
Prinsesa Kiyara – The epitome of Gabriella Silang. Sa totoo lang maganda ang pagsasalarawan mo sa kanya. (Given that I like a heroine had a strong personality) May issue rin sa dialogue niya. Imagine a princess would say this?
"Ulol! Sinong may sabi sa'yo?"
Haring Frodo – He is really effective as villain here.
Maximus – Devoted protector.
Prinsipe Verus – Hahaha natatawa ako sa character na ito. Sa batuhan nila ni Kiyara ng linya, kutob kong magkakagusto ito kay Kiyara. My impression with his is effective villain too. Sadista at ganid na anak.
4. Dialogue Tag and Action Tag. Marami ang nalilito rito at ano nga ba ang mga ito?
Dialogue tags are found in three different place: before, after, or in the middle of dialogue. Depending on where the dialogue tags are, you use different punctuation and capitalization.
1. Tag before the dialogue ex: Daisy asked, "What is your name?"
2. Tag after the dialogue ex: "What is your name?" Daisy asked. Or "What is your name?" asked Daisy.
How it works:
- Punctuation still goes INSIDE quotation marks.
- Unless the dialogue tag begins with a proper noun, it is not capitalized.
- End the dialogue tag with appropriate punctuation.
3. Tag in the middle of dialogue ex: "The car lights," she explained, "aren't bright enough to drive at night."
How it works:
- A comma is used before the dialogue tag and goes INSIDE quotation marks.
- Unless the dialogue tag begins with a proper noun, it is not capitalized.
- End the dialogue with the appropriate punctuation (period, exclamation point, or question mark), but keep it INSIDE the quotation marks.
A comma is needed to set off a dialogue tag. While a period is needed to set off a physical action when it does not describe a way of speaking. This is what you called Action Tag that I will differentiate later.
