Explicit Content

《1》

"Why did you do this to me?"

A voice was heard in the pitch black void...

"Just leave already, your becoming a bigger disappointment."

And another...

"Come on, sweetheart, do as I say... you dont want to know what I'll do to you."

The memories came with them...

"Bitch! You think you can fuck with me! I can make your life a living hell! I'll kill everyone you ever loved!"

Too many...

"I dont know if I want to do this anymore... I just never actually see you, all we do is text. It just doesnt feel the same."

All at once...

"You may as well kill me now while your at it! You got so close to me and your suddenly leaving! Do you have any idea what thats doing to me!"

Why do I do this to myself?

"Fuck you, your such a bitch. Nobody could ever love some depressed, ugly ass cunt like you."

It hurts...

"Your always alone. If you quit being a little hoe, you might actually have some people to talk to."

Stop...

"Why the fuck would I care about you, all you want is attention."

Get out of my head...

"Oh what the fuck, your life is pointless anyways. If I had a gun, I would shoot for you."

No...

"I cant believe we raised you as our child, how did we end up with a dick-sucking slut like you. Discusting-"

Just leave me alone!

"-Fat-"

Stop!

"-Useless-"

No!

"Why did you do this to me?"

STOP-
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My eyes shot open. I let myself relax and take in the details of my room.

"It was just a dream..."

I sat up on the bed and grabbed my phone to look at the time. It was dark out, so it must still be night time.

"4 am, huh?"

It wasnt what I'd call 'late', if I woke up early that just means my day will start earlier... also means I won't exactly be energetic.

I walked to my door and stopped behind it. Opening the door slightly, I peaked my eye through the gap.

In the hallway there sat blue prints, a lunch box, and construction boots. I closed the door. I didnt need to see anymore.

My parents own a construction buisness, and recently they've started at a new jobsite. It wasnt anything new. They did this alot when I was a kid... I never thought much about it though.

I leaned against the door and slid down to the floor.

*sigh* "Its funny. I never actually see my parents for most of the day, sometimes I wish I talked to them more... but then I remember its no use. I already thought of everything to say, and every way they would reply..."

I grabbed my phone and put in my earplugs.

"Whatever, school starts in a few hours anyways."

I sat on my bed, not bothering to try to talk to them, and waited until they left. I didnt feel like talking to them, I never do.
-----------
*3 hours later*

Putting on my clothes I thought about how I'd get to school. If I tried asking anyone close by I knew they'd say they have work.

"I'll walk, its fine."

I ate cereal as breakfeast but somehow still felt hungry. I tried eating healthy small portions of food and always stayed hungry.

"7 am, I should go."

While walking I tried to clear my head by focusing on my breathing and the nature around me.

[ "Why did you do this to me?" ]

I couldnt stop thinking of those words. Every step I took made the voice louder. My breathing got heavier as I felt the words boom in my head.

[ "Why did you do this to me?" ]

I stopped walking and closed my eyes tight, grabbing and pounding at my head.

[ "Why did you do this to me!" ]

My head ached from the voice. Where is it coming from? Why does it hurt so much. I didnt recognize it or even remember anything from it.

"Fuck why is it so loud!"

The laughter of children brought me back to the sidewalk. I looked around and saw a boy and a girl running across the park infront of me.

I stood up and look at myself in the reflection of the window next to me.

"I miss being a kid, I miss every bit of it."

I began walking again, this time playing music through my earbuds, trying to make sense of what happened.
------------

When I got to school, I felt as if everyone's eyes were on me. I knew they probably werent, but I still had the feeling.

I walked straight to my guitar class, not acknowledging anything.

Opening the door, I felt somewhat relieved. Hearing the sound of my teachers guitar soothed me and helped me feel at peace.

I sat down in the seat infront of the door, closed my eyes, and just listened.

He was playing "Lovers in a Dangerous Place by Bruce Cobren". It was a old song, but it was one of those songs that always sound good on a guitar.
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After school, I walked to my aunt's house. She wasnt home yet but my uncle was, and like always he was outside smoking.

I didnt mind it. I pulled my laptop from my backpack and opened up Netflix.

Being bored I thought I'd try to watch one of the movies I loved as a kid.

"Peter Pan"

I played the movie and tried to remember what it was like when I watched this as a kid.

The thought of being taken away from all the stress that was happening in the world sounded amazing.

Once the movie ended, I thought about what it would be like if Peter Pan took me away to Neverland...

"Tsh- theres no such thing as happy endings..."