I'm Right Here

I opened my eyes in the same spot I'm always in every morning. The first thing I noticed was the cold. It rang through me like a gong. I didn't know where this cold came from as my windows and curtains were all shut and I was snuggled so far beneath my duvet that I looked like some bizarre burrito. My senses seemed to be heightened and picking up things I wouldn't normally, such as the shutting of our not nearly oiled enough mailbox and the soft patter of Coffee's paws on the carpet downstairs.

I decided to drag myself out of bed and as I sat up, everything seemed to move 30 frames behind where I actually was. I slipped a foot out from my bed and placed it delicately on the floor. I rubbed my eyes and picked the crystals of sleep from them. I flung my robe around myself as I walked through the door into the corridor, listening for signs of movement around me.

"Mu-um?" There was nothing... I was subconsciously relieved, now I could spend my day overindulging in the TV.

I walked down the stairs holding the bannister lightly to achieve the satisfying hand-against-wood 'sss' noise.

"Hello?" I called again, doing a double check. Under the surface I had an uneasy feeling and I wasn't quite sure why, but the feeling was extinguished when Coffee's piercing yap told me, he had realised I was there. The yapping began to saw through my brain like a hacksaw. One bark echoed a million times over in my head, giving me an intense headache. She was in a defensive position, which was strange to me as she had been our family dog for about seven years. Yet here she was, looking up at me like I was some sort of monster.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up" I chanted, each 'shut up' getting louder until I was screaming at him, at which he finally seemed to get the message it was me. He then licked me, and trotted away.

There seemed to be a second level to the silence engulfing our interconnected lounge and kitchen. One breath seemed to disintegrate right before me, and the 'shut up's I had yelled before were nowhere to be found. For a brief moment I wracked my brains trying to remember where everyone would be but just as the thought found its way to my head the door banged open. It was flung open with such force that I jumped backwards immediately to find a hiding spot. I could hear the footsteps of an intruder coming faster and vigorously towards me. I stepped behind the curtain just in time to see the feet of someone come around the corner. The person seemed to be pulling the lounge apart. Scuffling papers and tossing them aside. Gingerly I peeped my head around the corner and saw the back of a head. To my childish surprise, he wasn't wearing a balaclava which I imagined all thieves to wear. It seemed stupid really, to imagine things would always turn out like the movies. My heart was thumping as the man threw his head back in agony and screamed. This surprised me, any decent robber would aim to keep as quiet as possible, until this one turned its head and I recognised the lined face of my father.

Relief surged through me like a current as I called to him.

"Dad?!" My cry was drowned by his murmurs and mumbling of;

"Birth certificates? – But where? – I thought they were – Oh Shit". He seemed to be on a mission and before I could say anymore he moved his apparent search to the kitchen. I trailed behind him because he didn't seem aware that I was following him and I watched as he began to implement his wild search method on the pantry.

"Dad? Can I help you? What are you looking for?" Still he didn't seem to register I was there. Coffee was going mad, yapping and yapping. Seemingly trying to notify him that I was there.

"Shut up Coffee" He muttered as he continued to wildly search but Coffee continued to yap.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP". The words cut their way into the air and reverberated around the walls. The dog scampered away, crying as he hid underneath the couch. I would be lying if I didn't say my Dad's outburst didn't unnerve me a little. I had never heard him swear before and this accompanied by his frenzied search made him seem like he was possessed by some force. He continued to make paper fly everywhere, thumbing through giant stacks of it. Swiping it off desks so it was hang suspended for a second or two before it floated precariously to the floor like delicate snowflakes being tossed about by a storm. Coffee was between my feet, watching him flap around the kitchen. I had given up trying to get his attention as something inside me told me that in his current state of mind, he would never hear me. I watched as his eyes glazed when they fell upon three pieces of paper, he kissed them and began to gather his things and make his way to the door. Now I was angry, it seemed laughable that he still hadn't noticed me or heard me when I had been standing right there the whole time. I felt he was ignoring me, the same way he normally did. The same way he would brush off my "I got an A at school" with a "that's great; stick it on the fridge, honey".