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❝ idontwannabeyouanymore ❞ — billie ellish
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" you are so pretty , i wish i had nice hair like you ." she said to me fluffing my hair out .
" but your pretty too , and my hair ain't all that great it gets tangled too ." I grabbed her hand as we were about to cross the street , we waited until the cross guard said it was okay and walk full speed across still holding hands
" but yours is long though ." she said.
" no its not. "
" it is too . "
" alright next subject ." I said and swung our hands back and forth . " how was school for you today. "
" not so good . " she shook her head , looking down at her feet .
" how come . "
" those eighth graders kept messing with me , and taking my glasses off my face ."
" why you didn't tell me anything earlier mo ? "
" because , I know how you are and those girls are way bigger than us . "
" so i don't care , i rather get my butt tore up — rather them thinking they up to sum , trying to bully you ."
" they weren't bullying me kheri ."
" then what were they doing then mo ?"
"..." She stayed silent.
" exactly ."
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❝ why couldn't i see the signs dave it was so obvious. ❞ i cried into my boyfriends chest.
its been 2 days since the funeral and the memory I had of her hanging from the staircase still blows my mind.
"Its okay babe she's in a better place now." He rubbed my back.
"That's true but she could've still been with me, all this shit could've been avoided if I just sat there and listen." I sniffed
"You gone be good I promise babe, just get up out these baggy clothes , i wanna take you somewhere special."
"I don't wanna go anywhere."
"You have to get out of here soon Kheri, she wouldn-"
"Don't try to pull that shit on me, if i don't wanna go i don't have to its my choice." i rolled my eyes.
"I'm just trying to be here for you."
"I understand that but let me just be a peace, i just witness my only friend my bestfriend get rolled in the ground."
"Im just trying to make you happy."
"I just told you that i understood where you were coming from lets just leave it at that." I got up from my seat going in a room, locking it behind me.
am i wrong for lashing out ?
he just wanted to see me happy ?
am i pushing him away ?
my thoughts collided all at one . but all I can manage was an , ' i hope not ' . its like i love him but I don't wanna end up getting to close , i don't wanna get involved with him knowing this love we have is temporary .
' knock knock knock ' <-- the door sounded off .
" hey I know you don't wanna go out but can we at least watch a movie together , for the time being . i'll even invite some friends over ."
I thought about it, before getting up and opening the door.
"Yea sure." I said , and he hugged me tightly .
"I love you."
"And I'm sorry."
"Its fine, I'm just trying to make you happy."
"I know, until the moon and back."
"Yea, ma to the moon and back."
"You can call them then I'll get started on making the snacks." I jogged down the stairs
"Hold on, I'm helping." He pulling out his phone getting ready to notify his friends.
