Curbside $uicide

Six: Bird Man

I was laying on my kitchen counter, scrim perched on top of the fridge

"Sooo it's a bit odd now that we've broke down the 4th wall amirite?" I gazed at my popcorn ceiling like the night sky

"Yea, only if ya think bout it too hard yanno?" Scrim screeched

I lifted myself up in my elbow to look at scrim
"Hey.. how bout you despashitthefuckup with that bird bullshit?" I shouted "you're a grown ass man squatting on top of my refrigerator like a fucking wingged beast and it's not cute." I said slightly annoyed

"Whatever. Fuckin bitch" he said as he attempted to flap his arms like he had wings and jumped off the fridge, and obviously he did a bellyflop on the floor because he's not a bird for Christ sakes

"Yeah asshole how the fuck that felt? I bet ya busted ass nose bleeding." I laughed slithering off the counter unable to control myself, I also fell face first onto the marble floor with a large *SAMACK*

"surprise surprise, karma's a bigger bitch than you. Hahahhahahaha" he said as he wiped blood from his nose

"I did that on purpose fuck you mean asshat? And for that I'm going to do weird shit to you in your sleep. Cunt" I said glaringly

*30 minutes later*
Scrim was passed out on the ceiling. Don't fucking ask me how he got his lame ass to stay up there but I knew he would have to come down eventually and I would be waiting I set a kiddies pool filled with Hunter musturd under him so when he fell he fell in the
S A U C E.
Abour 15 minutes later he started to open his eyes and when he looked directly under him I saw a look of pure terror manifest in his eyes
"yo, yo, yo, move that shit that's not fucking funny I wanna come down from here quit playin" he said and he was HYSTERICAL like I mean he started crying he was so scared

"Make me" I said laughing at his fear

He calmed down a bit then flipped around onto his stomach and started to crawl on the ceiling twords me, and I know it was just scrim but it was what nightmares are made of. I was screaming litterally
"SCRIM STOP IT YOU ARE SCARING ME AHHHH AWAY FROM ME NOW AHHHHH"

"Move the fucking sauce and we will have no issues. Keep the sauce and we will have every problem in the universe. Got it?" He said as he inched twords me

"okAY JUST STOP CRAWLING ON THE CEILING LIKE THAT FUCK!" I screamed with tears welling up in my eyes

I grabbed the pool of sauce and stuck it in the fridge for later ;)

"Damn right, now this Is how shits gonna work out ight? You listen to me, you tell me to do as much as even breath and I will snap ya neck like a god damn twig... Ight?" Scrim said as he snapped his fingers in a z formation and snapped his neck around. And may I say it was I N T I M I D A T I N G.

I shook my head afraid to say anything

"Yeah damn right now. Leave me the fuck alone" he said crawing back up the wall to get back on the ceiling