The day that I went home after the lock in, I talked to Ian and then I slept.
I was surprised with myself because I had actually socialized with people who I told that I hated. I didn't actually hate anyone, I just didn't like their personality for one reason or another. I disliked most of the class except for the "nerds" because I was considered one of them. The "nerds" were nobodies like me. We were always in the background. We were always the ones being copied off of on math assignments. We were always considered "goody-two shoes". But I wasn't tonight. Tonight, being all that didn't keep me away from having fun and showed me that I didn't need to always hang out with the same people to have fun.
I got outside of my comfort zone and it felt good. I had so much fun while doing it and it felt as though my life had gotten better somehow.
After my nap of about 5 hours, I played MineCraft and talked to Ian some more. There was nothing going bad at that point in my life and it felt AMAZING. Maybe, I could recover from the Lilly thing, find out who I really am and who deserves my attention.
I'd already realized that Anna didn't really deserve my attention. I guess she did in a sort of way that I looked past, but that sort of way was not enough for me to look directly at. Anna wasn't worth it in my eyes. I hurt her too much and she hurt me even more at times. Neither of us deserved to be treated like shit. Just I knew it and she didnt.
The weeks following, I continued to keep my distance. She was a great friend and all, just it hurt in the end to say that she was a friend.
Around the end of January, it had become time for the Religion Bowl. Our team hadnt studied too hard, but we were pretty confident with ourselves and our knowledge on the Catholic religion and the questions theyd given us to practice.
The day of the religion bowl was a mess. It had gotten my mond off of Anna, though. It was a jean day, so to correctly represent our team, we had to get into our uniforms. We were in a big rush and it had stressed me out a lot, but there was also excitement making my stomach churn. The eighth graders took care of the buzzers that we needed to take to the school that we were going to compete at.
Once everything was taken care of, we had some time to study with the eighth graders, about 10-15 minutes. I ended up jacking around since I had way too much energy. I annoyed the eighth graders, but Abigail, Justin, Brian, and Jennifer were used to it. By the end of this 10-15 minute practice I had gotten control of myself and actually tried to practice.
When it was time to go to the school that the religion bowl was being held, I became a nervous wreck. The practicing had calmed me down a bit, but as soon as we got into Justin's mom's car(she was driving) the jitters came back. I tried to hide my nervousness with some joking around, but I dont think it worked.
When we arrived at the school(I forgot which one), the nervousness washed away. As we walked into the gym/cafeteria, I'm not quite sure which it was or if it was both, I realized we were one of the first to get there. As time passed, the eighth graders showed up along with many more. The more people that washed in, the more a nervous feeling came to me. I saw Ian walk by, my anxiety was higher than itd ever been. I didn't know people I knew were going to be there. Later, I saw the guy anna and I played Apples to Apples with. I got excited and scared because he's cute and he also looked ready to win. His determination and everyone else's frightened me.
I argued with Justin and Jennifer who the captain would be. I've wanted to be the captain since we started studying and so had Jennifer. Jennifer believed that I shouldn't have been captain since I was so nervous, but even with my nervousness, I knew I would've been a good captain. Justin was supposed to be captain, but he backed out of it last minute. Abigail and Brian believed that since I was a nervous wreck that Jennifer deserved to be captain.
And captain she was.
(A/N:
Hey guys! So school has started back up and idk where I am going with this, I never know where I am going with this. I think that this will be longer then the first Mistakes bc I still have stuff coming into eighth grade to write about "Anna".
It feels so weird to write again wow. I'm sorry for never updating but here's an update and I hope you enjoyed it! the first part doesn't flow into the second part and it's just kinda bad.
I'll write some more within the next week Hopefully. I love you guys bye!)
