Little Black Dress

Twenty

Becca's POV

We're in the Range heading to Holmes Chapel.  Robin isn't  doing so well and from what Harry says he doesn't have long.  My heart is breaking for Anne.  Her love, her soul mate, her best friend.  I worry for her and how she will cope in the big house on her own.  I know she has the animals to keep her busy and her charity work but it's not the same. I push these thoughts aside knowing that I have to be strong for Harry, for Anne, Gemma and Robin.

We arrive at the house were Harry grew up. Home.  His safe place, his comfort, his Mum and everything that's familiar.  Anne comes out the front door and to be honest she looks shattered.  She wraps Harry in the warmest hug I've ever seen and they don't let go.  I can hear Anne's sobs and I try not to cry myself.  Her heart is tired and I know she feels pain.  Watching Robin go through his treatment, being there on his tough days.  She then wraps me in a lovely embrace. "Hello Becca, thank you for coming up with Harry".  I return the favour and tell her I'm glad to be there and ask her how her lovely man is and that I can't wait to snuggle the cats.

Harry grabs our bags from the boot and Anne heads into the kitchen.  Robin is sitting in his favourite chair with a cup of tea and Dusty on his lap.  He's wrapped in a lovely warm blanket and the smile I get when I walk in would be enough to light up Paris at night.  "Becca" he replies.  "So glad you and H could come up for the weekend, it's great to see you". I'm surprised at how much weight he has lost.  This wonderfully strong man, now just a shadow of his former self.  He moves to stand up but I insist he sits.  "Hey you I say", you just sit right there, I've got something special for you".  I walk to his chair and wrap him in warm hug.

H comes down from upstairs and butts in on my hug with Robin.  "My turn now".  He hugs Robin with such love and kindness that I'm finding it hard not to cry again.  He rubs Robins back gently saying that he is glad to see him and not to worry that he'll take care of him.  I know he will too. This is hurting H as much as its hurting Robin and Anne.  His heart is just sooo big.

I walk into the kitchen where Anne is preparing us tea.  She's baked some Banana Muffins and some Gingerbread.  The smells are divine.  It reminds me of my Nannas house and when she used to bake for me when I went to stay in the holidays.  I get the milk from the fridge and ask Anne how she is.  She won't tell me the truth but I know she's exhausted.  Her resolve is tough and I know she's doing her best to be strong.  She hands me a tray with four cups, a sugar bowl and pours the milk into a little jug.  "You take the tray out for me Becca", I'll bring the other goodies".  H is busy talking away to Robin about some Football team and how they are probably not going to make the finals this year.  Robin laughs and tells H he's "full of it".  Their banter is easy and for a moment we forget why we are here.

Tea is poured and Anne slices the Gingerbread and butters the Muffins.  They are delicious and just what we need.  Anne asks H how everything is going with the prep for the VT and he is so excited to tell his Mum all about it.  She's a bit concerned about the fly overs but H reassures her that the stunt man will be doing that stuff and not to worry.  H is still her baby, even though he's been away from home since he was 16.  It's lovely that she still worries.

We chat about this and that and H asks Robin how his treatment is going.  The Chemotherapy completely wipes him out and the radiation is so invasive.  He's so positive and its wonderful that he has such a great outlook.  It's not easy to watch the ones you love go through such harrowing treatment.  H is glad that today is a good day and he could come and spend some time with Robin and Anne.  It's important to him.

H ushers me upstairs to his old room and we freshen up a little before we head out to take a walk with Anne and Robin.  We are in the bathroom when  H shoulders slump and he grabs be quickly and silently sobs into my shoulder.  "I don't know what to do Becca, I'm watching my stepdad slowly slip away and I can't help".  I hug him tightly to my chest, rubbing gentle circles on his back.  "I know handsome, I know, but you know what, your being a support to your Mum just being here, your doing the best you can H, you've made sure Robin has the best care from the Nurses, you've  talked to the experts and he has the best of everything, please don't beat yourself up about this".  "I just want to make it all go away for him, make the pain stop, but I know I can't".  I hug him tightly and kiss him gently on the forehead.  "Stop, please H, let's just enjoy this time with your Mum and your stepdad".  H washes his face and puts on his favourite Green Bay Packers Beanie.  I rummage through his drawers and grab myself one of his favourite sweaters.  It smells like him, Tom Ford, mixed with his shampoo and shower gel.  It's divine and it feels like home.

We head downstairs and Anne has Robin ready in his wheelchair wrapped up all toasty warm.  H insists on pushing him.  We lock the house up and head out across the field.  It's a beautiful Spring day and the blossom on the trees looks stunning.  The cats come with us.  Its funny,  They're like little dogs trotting along the paths.  Anne chats away with me whilst Dusty and Dotty chase each other along the stream.  H and Robin talk about everything and anything.  For a moment we all forget that Robin is unwell and we just enjoy the moment, laughing at H's stupid jokes and his plans for the upcoming tour.   He's secured a couple of nights at The Troubedour and he's fizzing.  Stevie Knicks has been in touch with him and Harry is keen to perform with her.  He has a great relationship with Stevie and Mick Fleetwood and attributes them to being influential with his music.  I love his passion for his craft and how committed he is to making the best music he can, its a priveledge to be part of that journey.