driven by the forces of circumstance

Driven by the forces of circumstance - Breaking Apart

CHAPTER 1

'What about your father that got seven different women pregnant without getting married to them?! You are not ashamed talking about my family background when yours is not any better. Ingrate! infidel!. You call yourself a man, yet you have nothing to show for it!'
     Mrs Nelson yelled back at her husband in the house around 4:am 8as she prepared to go back to Abuja where she had been transferred to at her place of work. Mrs Nelson works at the Nigerian Ports Authority as a Public Servant and is open to transfers at any point in time and to any place. Mr Nelson on the other hand, is a lawyer who's not well connected so to say and so doesn't earn as much income as expected.
'You must be insane for that statement!' Mr Nelson angrily yelled back at his wife. 'Woman! look here, if you think you can come to this house at any time you like and then rain insults on me when you're about leaving just because i don't have as much money that i should as the head of the home, i'll tell you now that you have failed because i wouldn't continue with you like this, i would rather live alone or remarry than die of high blood pressure because of a ruthless woman like you! In fact, as you're packing your load, just make sure you pack everything you have here or as much as you'll need and leave for good! At least not until then will I have some peace. And just to let you know, the children won't starve to death staying with me, they would also keep going to school, getting quality education at that, that which i can conveniently afford. They would not wear rags as clothes as well, all these i completely assure you. I haven't seen a home where a woman's major priority stands to be her job at the expense of the welfare of her husband and children, i think you should just go and get married to your job and leave us be. But don't be surprised if you meet a new woman in this house by time you think to get back here. You know what even eats me up the most? It's to know that even when you're around, things only get worse because all you do is create war and unhappiness by shouting and seeing me more in the light of being unable to do anything and everything than being able. What a wife you are! So don't forget to say a big 'thank you' to your manager or whoever filed for your transfer on my behalf. Good bye to you woman!  leave here as fast as you can and let it be for good! The worst you'll do later today or whenever you get to the office is to forget to send my utmost gratitude to your boss in Abuja! I'm done here!'
    Mr. Nelson told his wife angrily with great rage due to how she had spoken to him earlier. They both quarreled and yelled at each other like kids endlessly. So much that they woke up their children from sleep. They are blessed with four children. Two boys and two girls. The girls, Betty and Anita rushed out of their room as they came out to see Joshua and Desmond on the corridor trying to get out to see what was wrong with their parents. Joshua was the first child, he was sixteen, a brave and exemplary brother to his siblings. The next after him was Betty, who was fourteen, followed by Anita who was twelve and then Desmond the last, who was just nine years of age.
'Not again!' Joshua said sadly looking at his siblings. 'Let's go into my room' Joshua said to them as they all walked into Joshua and Desmond's room.
'What is wrong with mum and dad?  why are they always waking us up with their shouts made at each other? how long would we go on living like this? i am tired!' Anita asked questions that none of them really had answers to, not even Joshua. He was just as clueless as Anita and every other person, not that he didn't understand what was going on, and why things were happening the way they were, but he felt explaining to his siblings would only make them more confused and sad, sometimes not knowing or understanding certain things keeps you at a better state of mind, he felt. 'I wish I could leave this house to find a better mum and dad' Little Desmond said sadly. Joshua pats his back trying to make him feel better, then draws him closer and fixes his hand around his shoulders. 'There is really nothing like a better mum and dad out there little brother, the mum and dad that we have are the best we can have since they are who God has blessed us with as parents, we can and should only pray that they live long to take care of us and be there for us...' 'There for us you say? certainly not mum' Betty hesitantly interrupted Joshua to prove her point. 'Yes to be there for us Betty' Joshua replied calmly as he continued speaking. 'I know that mum is hardly around with us and it's really eating me up, but we also have to try to understand that she's doing it for us, Desmond, Anita, Betty, this would only last for a while i promise, everything will soon be fine, just be happy okay?' 'okay' they all muttered. Even though Joshua said these words to his siblings just to make them worry less and feel better, he wasn't happy within because he knew that the cause of the constant quarrel between his mum and dad wasn't majorly about her transfer and having to travel on a regular basis, but the fact that their mum had lost respect for their dad because of his financial insufficiency and their dad on the other hand, probably no longer loved their mum due to her ill behaviors and attitude towards him. One could lie to others but certainly not himself, he thought. But what could he really do to change the situation even as the first born anyway? he only tried to make sure that the issues between their mum and dad do not affect him and his siblings in the important aspects of life. ‘Let’s say our morning prayers before we go check out mum and dad. Betty, please lead us in prayer' Joshua said with love and calmness. -----  -----  -----
     By the time the children had finished their morning prayers, the noise coming from their parents in the sitting room had completely subsided. Mr. Nelson had said his last words to his wife and had walked away to the bedroom, not giving her the chance to speak any longer with the hope that he was listening. The children go to the sitting room to meet their mother zipping up her bags, almost ready to leave. 'So mum, you were just going to leave without saying goodbye to us?' Desmond asked almost in tears, bringing a sudden notice of their presence in the sitting room to their mum. Immediately,  she turned to see her children staring at her. 'No my dear son! no my children' she rushed to them going low to the height of Desmond. Please don't cry my baby, i was and could never have gone without saying goodbye, i wouldn't even forgive myself for doing that. How much i want to always hug and kiss you my darling children, i love you so much, beyond measure. I just didn't know that you all were awake already, you know it's still quite early in the morning. I planned on waking you all up when i was about leaving' she said to her children with so much affection couple with confusion. Joshua still wearing a big frown burst out in anger to speak. 'Mum, what do you mean by you didn't want to wake us up so early? For crying out loud, you and dad already did! you always do, and it would have even been much better being woken up almost everyday with hard slaps than the way you and dad have chosen to always get us to wake up. I consider this inhumane and unfair! I mean, what sort of family is this? You're not keeping this home by your actions i must tell you honestly, and if you really love us like you say, then stay and make some peace with your husband. You can imagine Desmond your son, the one you 'love' asking for a better mum and dad, what a wish for a little boy who may claim to have parents that love him. This really doesn't make any sense to me mum, you had better do something different and make things work. Everything seems to lie in your hands according to Proverbs 14 verse 1. I believe you've read that before, and if you haven't, you really need to, and fast! I already heard everything daddy told you' Joshua had started off with a calm tone at first but lost it at some point out of anger and frustration. He was about to walk out of the house but restrained himself on a second thought of how his siblings would react and feel, he stopped at the door turned back and headed to his room. 'Mum, you may leave now, you must be running late already, you know that Abuja isn't at our backyard, you should leave now goodbye, safe journey. I love you just as much ‘Joshua said turning to face his mum before finally going in. Those words tore Mrs. Nelson apart, hearing those words from her son was like using a sharp knife to pierce an open and fresh wound on her skin. She knew better than to scold him at that moment, now wasn't the time for that neither was it the time to start crying like he made some sense, she told herself. Putting Joshua's words aside, she drew closer to Desmond and gave him a tight hug almost in tears she spoke these words 'always remember that mummy loves you, I'll be back sooner than you expect, my lovely boy, please don't cry and be strong for me okay?' 'Okay mum' Desmond replied with a sad expression, he knew she was trying to make him feel better. She did the same with Anita and Betty, each one was given special words and promises. She had promised to get back soon to Desmond, promised to get Betty new shoes as she had always requested and promised to take Anita to all the fun places as she had also requested. But above all these things, one thing Mrs. Nelson didn't seem to be realizing was that her family needed her more than those things, they loved her so much and just really wanted her to be around them at all times. This what it really meant to be a mother and a wife.
'Let me go see Joshua before leaving' She muttered after the hugs and promises. She knew that her coming back wasn't certain even though she had told her children she would, she just knew she would have to do something sooner or later.
     Still not sure of what to tell a boy who perfectly understood what was going on to make him feel better, because unlike Desmond, she couldn't lie or pretend to Joshua, he was no longer a kid and could hardly be deceived especially in matters like this. Joshua was completely of the fact that if his mother didn't get to do something good quickly, he and his siblings would soon have to be tagged as children from a broken home and so he didn't need anyone to make things worse by thinking they could lie to him in the strive to make him feel better, unfortunately this was what his mother had set out to do.
    'If only Joshua would try to understand, if only' Mrs. Nelson muttered to herself as she knocked on the door of his room 'Joshua' she called  out, reluctant to respond or open the door, he walks to the door and opens but walks back to lay down on his bed almost immediately. 'I'm leaving baby' she said. 'I already said goodbye didn't i? Joshua replied his mum almost immediately. He only opened the door to hear her out because she was travelling that day, he didn't want to have any regrets when she was gone. Turning to really look at her son, she discovers he had been crying all the while. 'Joshua, you've been crying, look at your eyes!' She exclaimed. 'Of course I've been crying mum, or what did you expect? Sing for joy?!  dance that my mum's leaving to Abuja for work for as long as only God knows when?!! or laugh that my parents shout at each other every blessed day of their lives?. Tell me mum, what?!  what exactly, oh that i should have gladly beaded you goodbye
like it's a thing of joy or what?!' Joshua responded angrily again. He really didn't want to be like this, but somehow the sight of his mum had a way of intriguing anger into him for the fact that he knew she was the major cause of everything even though she can't completely be blamed. His dad was a very strong headed person too, one could hardly speak to him without him getting angry somehow. Although Joshua knew all this, he still believed that everything depended on ones manner of approach to different situations, which in this aspect, his mother had failed and was still failing brutally. 'I know and understand that you have every right to be angry and so i won't reprimand you for...' 'reprimand me mum?' Joshua cut in. 'Mum, the only one who really deserves to be reprimanded by her parents is you, yes you mum, i mean, you have quite a lot to learn especially about marriage. Mummy just spare me that talk please, it's the very last i need now, I'm no. longer a little child, maybe you should go tell that to Desmond, that's if you won't be surprised how wise he he's become during the days of your absence. Grace(Mrs. Nelson) opens her mouth in amazement, she had never really seen Joshua talk like this before not even to think it would be to her. She was short of words, 'he's grown up so fast ' she said to herself within. She tried not to get angry by her son's words and calmed herself down to speak. 'Joshua, I'd ask you  one thing, don't interrupt me again, i just want to say a few things to you and I'd leave' On hearing on those words, Joshua felt his heart shattering, it was so painful knowing that his mother whom he loved so much would be leaving for Abuja, not even certain when she would be back, in addition to what his dad had said to her that morning. He really didn't want to see her leave. It was more like a pain in the throat, but what choice did he have now? she had already come over to his room to talk to him and say the goodbye that he really didn't want to hear from her.
'Joshua I'm deeply sorry about everything that i and your father have seem to put you and your siblings through...' 'Its not like you two don't have a choice mum, you choose the paths you want to follow in life, so I'm sorry mum but i really don't think you have any excuse' Once again Joshua interrupts his mum, this time it causes her to rage. 'Enough of your nonsense  counsels Joshua! enough!  i told you not to interrupt me again, seems you're also loosing control gradually, you better watch it so that you don't turn out to be like your father!! what's your problem boy? what?! You're not the only kid whose family is like this or you think that it's every family that you see together, that's truly happy and leaving at peace? You better get serious and learn to face your reality!  what nonsense!' Mrs. Nelson shouted at the top of her voice. The other children listened from the sitting room, they got scared and wondered why their mum had gotten so angry and loud again. Mr. Nelson also hears the noise from the room. He shakes his head and mutters to himself 'nothing or no one can teach a hardened heart not even a baby, so unfortunate'
Mrs. Nelson having realized that she had also been guilty of loosing control gradually by raising her voice decided to speak calmly to her son, she too didn't want to be like this to him, not today, not ever. 'Joshua you shouldn't be talking to me like that and you know it, i pay your school fees, although I'm not always around, i send money to you and your siblings regularly, i buy clothes for all of you!  what else do you want from me?!' 'You mum, you' Joseph replied sadly but on a calm note. 'We need your presence and love more than those things or anything in this world, dad needs you too that's why he's angry, you should get going mum, the day would soon Break' Although, yet another interruption from Joseph, this caused a different reaction from Grace. There was little silence in the room, mother stared at son almost in tears, son already turned away to lay down. She tried to figure out what the problem really was with her son, she wasn't understanding, she couldn't really explain why it seemed like her son had taken the side of their father, condemning her like she was the devil and he was the saint. As if reading his mother's mind, Joshua sat up again to speak, breaking the silence. 'Mum, it's not as if I'm taking daddy's side or something, why would I do that when i so much love you both? but the only reason I'm hitting it hard at you is because you're our mother, his wife, and the woman being referred to in Proverbs 14 and so everything lies more in your hands, but you're hardly even around! Mr. Nelson heard this and smiled and said to himself 'tell her my dear son, you're the true son of your father' he chuckled sarcastically as he was getting dressed in preparation to go to work'. 'Mum i love you and i know you love us beyond measure, but if you really mean that, i ask that you extended that love to dad, seeing strength even in his weaknesses and the good in his bad, love him, accept him and teach him to be better by showing love to him everyday and being there as much as you can, it's simple, just try this and if it doesn't work, then I'd know that the problem is really from daddy, but even if it's actually from him, i believe this would be able to make a difference coupled with prayers, also learn to respect him regardless of anything he has or has not' Joshua said hoping to get a positive response from his mum, even though he knew that was too much of a dream. Grace looked into the eyes of her son, with no particular expression at first, but it later proceeds to the one of rage and pride mixed together, finally she decided to speak but all she could say was 'tell all that to your father!' She gets up from where she was seated in annoyance 'I'm leaving now, take care of your siblings, I'd be back soon, I- love- you, good-bye'. Those words could hardly come out from her mouth due to her present state, but she knew that she had to say it anyway since she wasn't sure of when or if she was going to be back. The last thing she wanted was to be seen as a mother who abandoned her children for work, she definitely had to figure a way out to keep seeing them. This didn't sound so sincere to Joshua, at least compared to the way she must have said it to Desmond, Anita and Betty he thought. What could he  do anyway, he had to accept it, he knew his mother loved him dearly and he loved her just as much. He didn't get the chance to say how much he did love her too regardless, and she didn't wait to hear it either. Joshua felt really bad watching his mum leaving the room and now, she wasn't just leaving the room, she was leaving the house and probably, for good. He went back to doing what his mother had discovered him doing when she first entered, he cried, and this time, more loudly and bitterly. -----  -----  -----
      Later that morning, Joshua was done crying and had wiped his tears, he was sort of determined to stay strong for his younger siblings. If he was crying endlessly, what was he expecting Desmond to do? He decided he was going to while away time by playing video games with Desmond. 'At least the days go by faster when we make ourselves busy' he said to himself, anxiously waiting and praying for the day his mum would be back.
   'Joshua, Joshua'  Mr. Nelson called out to his son on his way out to work. While playing video games with Desmond, he heard his name and rushed out to his dad. 'Yes dad, you called me' Joshua responded on getting to the sitting room. 'I'm off to work my dear son, i heard everything you told your mum, shows you're sensitive and sensible, that's good of you son, but for the kind of person your mum is, it may take a while before she would eventually see reasons with you and me' Mr. Nelson said to his son. 'Yes dad, but i must tell you also that whatever you heard me say to her doesn't make you right either, there are some areas where you're also not being very understanding and loving and i think that's what she really needs not your insults and strong headedness, forgive me but i must say dad' Joshua said with his head bowed, not sure what his father's reaction might be. But amazingly, his father chuckles and pats him on the back, 'you're growing into a man, and some day you'd be a father like me son, till then, take this money just in case of eventuality. Your mum prepared some food and kept them in the refrigerator, take out some, warm and give your siblings to eat, I'd be back in the evening. Call the rest out to say goodbye to me'. Mr. Nelson told  his son with reasoning, although he knew that Joshua had a point, he didn't like to admit it, but the good thing is that he didn't flare up. Joshua rushed to call out his siblings, and one by one they hugged their dad and receive a peck from him, again Desmond's hug lasted the longest because he was the last child. 'Daddy loves you all, stay well, behave well and I'd be back soon okay? I'd try to buy you all something on my way back as well okay?' 'Okay dad, bye dad' they responded quite happily. 'Joshua, take care of them, okay?' 'Okay dad, I'll do my best, have a nice day at work' 'thanks son' Mr. Nelson replied with a big grin at his children as he stepped out of the house.

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