"But thank you guys and I will see all you dudes... IN THE NEXT VIDEOOO!" Jack shouted out, and turned off his recorder. He looked at his screen, he really wasn't in the mood to edit this video. He was so tired of looking at him self.. So tired.
He turned his chair around and stood up. It was around 5pm, so his video he recorded yesterday would be up in any second. He grabbed his phone by the desk and left the room. He went into his kitchen, and started to make some coffee. He was so tired always, but luckly no one had noticed. While his coffee was getting ready, he sat down in a chair. He closed his eyes and inhaled a lot of air. Hoped Mark had replied him. He turned on the phone and open his eyes.
"No messages"
He exhaled and turned the phone off. He knew Mark was really depressed after what Daniel did, and they had talked only one time after that. He missed Mark, he really did.
He was alone, he had no one to talk to beside Mark. That man was his best friend, he would always cheer him up, make him smile, laugh. He was always there, but now, Mark had his own problems. And what hurt the most was, that Jack couldn't be there for him. Jack had thought about telling Mark the truth. He wanted to tell him about his feeling towards him, but now, it seems like it will never be something he should do. He would ruin it all, he would fail.. He was so afraid of failing. Failing those he loved, his fans, everyone.
Jack turned off the coffee machine, he didn't want coffee. That would just wake him up, and realize even more how alone he was. Jack walked over to the front door and took his jacket. He left his apartment, slammed the door, didn't even care it wasn't locked. It was starting to rain, but he just had to go down to the nearest grocery store and buy something. After walking for a while, he found it. Went inside, only to see way too many people in there. He tried to hide, and it helped. He found the section with all the alcohol, and took two red wines. He bought them and left the store really fast. On his way home, it was raining a lot. It was over 6pm, but it was already starting to get dark. he wanted to cry, but didn't allow him self to. He could feel the rain drip down his face. He could feel the cool drops of water, it calmed him. He then started to cry, but gept walking. He couldn't take this loneliness anymore. He came to his arpartment and got inside. Finally inside his home again. he put the two wine bottles on the little table by the couch and hang his jacket up again. He dried his face with his sleeves and found a wine operner. He heard the little bang, and the wine was open. He didn't even get a wine glass, he just drank straight from the bottle. After some time, the first bottle was down, and he could feel the numbness. This was what he wanted, he wanted to feel.. Nothing.
It was all a blur, but the second bottle was down. He was still in his couch, crying. He found his phone, and there was a text. It was from Mark. Drops of tears fell down on the phone as he read it all.
"Hey Jack.
I'm so sorry I haven't really been there lately, just so much going on. I can't take it. I just wanted to be all alone for some time. When you see this, please text me back or call.
-Mark"
Jack was crying, more than ever. The fact that Mark could choose to be alone or not. He couldn't choose, he was alone. Mark was on the other side of the Earth. Jack was all alone, for good. He started to type something
"Hey.
Listin', I'm so sorry for what everything. I just don't feel like I belong here. I'm so..
Alone.."
He send it, then put the phone down. He cried, just sat there and cried. He felt hopeless.
He just wanted a way out of this.
