Broken Homes, Healing Hearts

•13• Recovery

2:35 am
Y/n's POV
Darkness. It's all around me. I can't catch a break. Most people would ask me how I haven't killed myself yet. I'm honestly surprised as well. I've lost almost everything in my life. What's next? Something is pounding inside. Like it's trying to get out. But I don't know what it is. I'm not okay. I'm broken. As damaged as an abandoned toy that a kid grew out of.
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I woke up sweating. I can't take this anymore! I slowly got up from my bed that Richie was sleeping peacefully on. "I'm sorry." I whispered to him. I kissed his cheek lightly. A lump appears in the back of my throat already. "I'm sorry for everything." I walked out of the room and to the medicine cabinet. I grabbed some random pill bottle. Then I went to the linen closet and pulled out a pocket knife that I've been hiding from Richie. I went upstairs and to the balcony that was connected to his bedroom. Am I really about to do this? I mean, I don't have anything to lose. Richie. I will lose Richie. My one and only. But if I do this, he will be much happier. I can tell he's been broken. Ever since I met him, he's seen me in nothing but tears and pain. I'm never happy. So, what's the point? I set the pill bottle and decided to cut first. I whipped the knife out. I put the cold steel blade against my warm wrist. I slightly dug it into my wrist watching the blood rush to the surface and down my arm and onto the deck of the balcony. I watched the thick red liquid rush out of my body. This is what I deserve.
Richie's POV
I woke up. I looked to my side expecting to see my beautiful girl sleeping but she was gone. I got up and went into the living room. Empty. The kitchen, quiet. I went to the bathroom. The medicine cabinet was opened. Oh no. I think I know what she was about to do. "Y/n?!" I panicked bolting upstairs. My bedroom door was open. "Y/n!" I ran into my room seeing y/n on the balcony. She was about to down a handful of pills. I ran as fast as I could and smacked her hand. The pills flew everywhere. "What the hell are you thinking?!" I put my hands on her shoulders. I looked at the thick red blood dripping from her body. "Babe... I could've lost you!" I cried pulling her into a tight hug. "I-I'm sorry... I just thought it would be better for everyone if I wasn't here anymore." She said against my chest. "Why would you think that?" I pulled away looking at her face. "Because! I'm the reason everyone is sad! I lost everything! I'm never happy! I can't believe I made it this far in my life but my dad... I got pushed over the edge. I can't live like this anymore Richie. It's not fair. Especially to you. I see the way you look at me sometimes. You always look upset or broken. And I'm the one causing it! I can't do this anymore!" She yelled as her hands ran through her hair in stress and frustration. "Y/n... I only look at you that way because I don't know what to do. I want to make you happy but I'm not good at this stuff. I want to protect you and I'll do whatever it takes. I love you and I can't imagine what I would've done if I hadn't stopped you. I can't lose you." I sobbed hugging her tightly again. This time I let it all out. All my tears. I was scared. I don't want to lose the best thing that ever happened to me. She hugged me back tighter than I was. "I'm sorry Richie. I love you." She softly cried. I hugged her tighter in response.
Back to Y/n's POV
Here I was. Standing on the balcony with pills, blood, and tears all around. I regret trying to end my life. To be completely honest, I'm scared to die. But in my state of mind at the moment I felt like I had to because I attract all the unhappiness. When I want to run away from troubles it ends up finding me. There no where to hide. Now I'm standing here holding Richie's quivering body as he let out all of his tears. I held onto him tightly. "I'm sorry Richie. I love you." I softly cried. He hugged me even tighter. I love this boy with all my heart and I'm grateful he stopped me. "I'm sorry I tried to do this to myself. I was just so upset and in my state of mind at the moment pushed me to just do it. I'm glad you stopped me. I can't lose you no matter what. I love you Richie Tozier. Forever and Always." Our foreheads were pressed together as I gazed deep down into his chocolate brown eyes that were glossed over by tears that was still flooding his cheeks. "I understand y/n. I just want you to be happy. I want to be the reason you are. I can't explain how much you mean to me." He choked. "Stay right here." I said. He looked confused but obeyed. I ran inside to my closet and pulled out a present. I ran back upstairs while grabbing a wet cloth on the way to clean up the balcony. I walked to Richie handing him the box. "What's this?" He asked. "Well babe, it's almost our one month and I got you an early anniversary present." I smiled. He looked at me in awe then read the card that was on top:

Dear Richie,
    Where do I even start? You are amazing. I'm so glad that I met you. You are my first love and I'm so proud to call you mine. I've put you through all my depressing shit lately and I haven't been focusing on your happiness and I'm so sorry. I can't even tell you how much I love you. I think about you 24/7 no matter what I'm doing. You are so understanding and wonderfully weird. When I'm having a bad day, just thinking about your goofy smile lifts me up. I want to be with you all the time. I can't believe you've been dealing with all of my bullshit all this time. I'm so so so grateful to have you. I love you Freckles!

Xoxo Y/n <3

He got done reading my letter and smiled. "Y/n..." He was speechless. "C'mon open it!" I waited anxiously for his reaction. He untied the bow and ripped the wrapping off the box. He tore the box open and there lied two necklaces and two rings. One necklace had my name on it and the other was his name. Then one of the rings was blue, Richie's favorite color, and it said Forever and Always engraved into it. The other ring said the same thing but it was purple. "Oh my god... y/n.. I love you so goddamn much!" He put the box down and pulled me into a passionate kiss. I smiled into the kiss as I deepened it. Our lips felt like they were made for each other. It felt so right. We pulled away. I put his necklace on him as he did mine. Then we put our rings on. I grabbed the cloth and quickly cleaned his balcony. Then we both went inside and back to my bedroom. I checked my phone and there were a couple messages from the losers and some Instagram notifications. It was now 4:14 am and I was exhausted cause you know.. I crawled into bed. My back faced Richie as he closed the door. I felt the bed dip as Richie climbed into my bed. He layed as close as he could to me. He buried his face into my neck. His crazy curls tickled my face but I didn't mind. His arms were snaked around my waist and his hot breath was on my neck, sending shivers down my spine once in a while. I felt safe. I finally felt happy. "I love you." I whispered. "I love you more baby cakes." I chuckled lightly at the nickname. "Freckles." I replied smiling to myself. Just like that we both fell asleep. Tomorrow will be better.

Word Count: 1436 words

A/n: Wow.. my writing is getting worse and worse. Great! 😁😪