I always thought barbies were fake they were built without their knowledge, fake smiles, plastic. I guess you could call me one.
A rape survivor, who turned to modeling to cope.
The ceo of a new all black modeling agency.
What happens when these t...
Flashback to 3 years earlier "I said lay back now!!" the man screamed climbing on top of me.
I cried and struggled beneath him, begged him to stop, even begged my mother to come into the room to help me. My mom would stand guard outside the room while different men came in and raped me. I guess it's my fault I was 18 still living under her roof.
A hand came down across my face and I felt the familiar sting of my cervix being forced open. Tears spilled from the corner of my eyes staining the bedsheets as I begged whoever this man was to stop.
"Stop those tears I'm not raping you, you love being daddy's slut" he said above me.
"I don't want this!!" I exclaimed pushing against his body . I felt my body betray me and instantly felt like a whore. How could I climax?
"Yeah that's right cream all over me baby" after he said that he came inside his latex, and pulled out of me.
I let my head fall back in defeat and I had another sleepless night.
-Present Day-
I awoke from my sleep with sweat running down my back. I covered my face with my hands and held my tears at bay.
"Your fine, your going to be just fine" I chanted to myself . I ran my hands through my long hair sighing. Will these memories ever go away?
I go into the bathroom doing everything related to my hygiene pulling on my clothes for today. I look once again into the mirror and wonder to myself how my hair didn't fall out by now. After my incident I turned to modeling for coping, and I dyed my hair as many times as I could remember. My hair was currently a light pink that I needed for the theme of my photo shoot this month. I pulled my hair into a bun and slipped my glasses on .
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Today, I had on a white off shoulder cotton shirt and some light jeans. I threw on some white fuzzy slippers just to be lazy. As I was rubbing my coco butter into my skin I heard my doorbell ring. I clicked the buzzer letting the person in, knowing it was my only friend Oli.
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"BESTFRIENDDD IM HERE WITH BREAKFEAST" He screamed loudly from the kitchen. I walked down the steps to see him holding up two McDonald's bags. Oli was a slightly darker skin tone than me, he had dreads, and really nice teeth. Don't judge me. A guy with nice teeth is just a yes for me. I could admit that he was a sight fore sore eyes, but I was too scared to jump into anything with a man. Ever. It was shocking that I was even close to Oli.
"Good morning Oli thanks for the break feast" I said pecking him on the cheek.
He pulled me into a hug. "Of course how are you holding up" he asked pulling away slightly to look me in the eyes.
"I'm doing better" I answered putting on a fake smile to convince him I was alright.
"You don't have to lie to me and you can talk to me anytime, I'll drop whatever I'm doing for you remember that" he promised kissing my forehead. He pulled away and handed me two McGriddles, two hash browns, and a large caramel frappe. My usual order.
"So what's on the to do list today" I said sipping my frappe and scrolling through my feed.
"You have a meeting for your next photo shoot at ten and then your actual photo shoot is at 12:30" He said handing me a stack of cards.
"My hair needs to be curled and I need to have shades pink makeup" I read aloud rubbing my finger along my freckles. I don't know why I did that I guess it was just a habit.
"Well get that done after your meeting so you don't mess it up your a wild sleeper" Oli smirked at me. I rolled my eyes and flicked him off.
At Photoshoot "Yes work it Davina" My photographer Mike called out.
For this photoshoot I had my gold hoop nose ring in, my hair feel down in natural curls, my makeup was done, and different types of flowers had been placed in my hair. I looked at the camera putting on a facade imagining myself in a better world, a better place.
"That's a wrap" Mike called and came over to show me my best shot.
"Really great work Davina go get changed" He said tapping my butt softly, making me uncomfortable once again.
And as I sat getting my makeup cleaned off for today, I couldn't help but think of the nightmares I would be having later on tonight.
AUTHORS NOTE
Hi everyone, if your reading this welcome to my book✨. Please feel free to comment on any mistakes and pm me with any advice or questions. I'm trying this writing thing, I love writing it's just the wording part that always gets me in a spiral. I will be doing regular updates, if anyone even likes my first chapter 😂. I'll try to update daily, but if not every two days.
