Out Yo Way (Takeoff)

f i f t e e n

Kaisa Imani Koudri

"Dhaze, I can't do it no more sis. I miss my man." I said picking up my phone.

She slapped it out my hand. "Bitch, it's been like three weeks."

"Yeah and this is the 90th floral arrangement he's sent to my house."

"So you going back for flowers?"

"No, I'm going back cause I love him. This whole torturing him, that's not me. I felt like shit having Qua help me to make him think we went on some dates. I'm not trying to come in between the family. I appreciate the advice, but I'm gonna go get my man."

She smiled at me. "Finally you grew some balls."

"Huh?" I asked confused.

"This was a test, to see if you were gonna listen to others or listen to your head and your heart. Me being an amazing friend, I called him." Just then my doorbell rang and Dhaze answered it. Soon I saw her and Kirsh walk in and I felt my heart stop. I haven't seen him face to face since three weeks ago after I got my things. "I'm gonna let y'all talk alone." Dhaze said leaving.

"Hey." I said sitting up.

"Hey." He said from behind the couch with a bag in his hands.

"You can sit." I said returning to my original seat. He sat across from me and looked around the apartment.

"I see you got my flowers."

"Yeah.. they're gorgeous. Thank you."

"No problem. You're moving?" He asked looking at the boxes around the house.

I shrugged. "I'm not sure yet. I was offered a position at Miami children's hospital. I'm still thinking about if I'm going to accept the offer. The boxes are just old clothes I'm donating."

He nodded and cleared his throat. "So What does that mean for us?"

"There isn't much of an us Kirsch. You and I both know that."

"But it can change right? There's no hope for us?" He asked looking me in my eyes.

"I don't know.." I said looking away from him. "This isn't just something that can be swept under the rug. You let some other girl touch you the way I should. Never would I have done that to you. Not to mention you didn't even tell me, you kept the lie going."

"I know Kai and I'm sorry. I wish I could take everything back, but I can't. I can't go back in time, I can only try to deal with the present to make a better future. I love you, that has never changed. I fucked up okay? I had a moment of weakness and I lied. I'm sorry, you have to believe me."

"What did she have over me?" I asked looking at him with tears trying to escape.

"She has nothing over you baby. It's just I was sexually frustrated and she was down to fuck."

"So it's because I wouldn't give you pussy?"

He sighed running his hands over his face. "No.. I don't know okay? She was just there when I felt lonely."

"So why couldn't you come to me? You had a whole fiancé."

"Who's celibate."

"You said it didn't bother you."

"It doesn't. Look, Kaisa you can't expect me to go from having sex whenever I want with no complaints then to go cold turkey. It was hard as fuck for me and that's no excuse but I'm trying to correct things. I love you and only you. I want to make this work, I'll do whatever I have to do."

I shook my head. "Did you think of me at all?"

He sighed. "All the time, it went from sex to just head cause I couldn't get you out my head. I could see the look of pain on your face and I tried to avoid it, but obviously look at where my lies got me."

"Did you like it?"

"I would have much preferred if it was you. It was fine."

"Hmm.."

"Did you fuck Qua?"

I shrugged. "Why?"

His eyebrows furrowed together. "What do you mean why?"

"I don't see why that matters. If I did or didn't, I wasn't with you at the time."

"You're right. It doesn't matter." I just wanted to mess with his head so I'll let him think whatever.

He sat next to me. "Look, my birthday is coming up."

"I'm aware."

"I want you to be by my side."

"As your date?"

"Only if you want it to be a date. Otherwise, we can be two friends enjoying each other's company." He said with hopeful eyes.

"It's a date." I said smiling at him. He looked down at me smiling back. When he tried to lean in and kiss me I moved back. "I'm not ready yet Kirsch. Baby steps okay?"

He nodded and kissed my cheek. "I won't rush you baby."

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Hope you liked it. Excuse any errors.