Star-Crossed Myth: The Divine Fate (Book One)

Chapter V: Losing Sleep

As I wake from a dream I know I've had before but can never remember, the sun streaming through my curtains, I lay still in my bed, staring blankly at my ceiling as I try to motivate myself to get out of bed.

Do you ever have that itch that you just can't scratch? Or perhaps you feel like someone is watching but you can't find those staring eyes? Or that song you hate but somehow you can't get out of your head?

When you see someone's face but can't recall their name. Or a word that's on the tip of your tongue but you can't think of it.

Just that annoying feeling that something is... missing. Something is...wrong.

I could go on and on and not find a single answer to this feeling.

It's been two years and I'm unable to shake this sense of forgetting something that is important. Why do I remember two years specifically? I don't know.

Since the traumatizing incident I witnessed, that I experienced as I child. I thought nothing could ever compete with how I was, with how I felt all that time ago.

I grab my phone from my bedside table, looking at the date ad time to see its nearly noon.

"Urgh!" I groan, grabbing the pillow beside me and smother my face in it, debating to stay in bed or to sleep the day away.

But seeing as I slept and stayed in bed all day yesterday, I decide to be somewhat productive today. I rise from my bed, and make my way to the bathroom. Where I hesitate whether or not to take a shower, knowing that the shower is the best place to think to yourself. And that is the last thing I need, seeing as it's all I do nowadays. I just end up spiraling down into the dark abyss of depression. Being alone with my thoughts has turned out to be a dangerous situation for me. I do whatever I can to make myself busy, to distract myself from these feelings and thoughts, but it finds a way to still linger. Like my own personal rain cloud hovering over me wherever I go.

Or more like I've gone crazy...

But, the temptation of a refreshing shower gets the better of me, and I prepare. To keep my mind at ease, I've gotten into the routine of grabbing my laptop, placing it on the bathroom sink. Clicking on a random playlist, music plays through the speakers, bouncing off the bathroom walls. Humming and singing along to more upbeat and positive songs here and there.

It's not until I hop out of the shower, wiping my hand across the steamed mirror to see myself. Wet black hair, grown past my elbows, my pale complexion illuminated from my dark hair and dark eyes. I sigh, opening the cupboard and grabbing a small orange capsule with a white lid. Popping it open and taking a small white pill. Tilting my head back I toss the little pill in my mouth and swallow. I give my head a shake and close the cupboard, seeing me own reflection once more. As I do so, my laptop glitches, cutting off the upbeat song and plays something more depressing instead.

I find myself quietly singing along. "As much as it hurts...Ain't it wonderful to feel?" I inhale. "So, go on and bring your wings...follow your heart 'till it bleeds..." I close my eyes and lower my head. "As we run towards the end of the... dream..."

My hands ball into fists as my eyebrows furrow. I let out an irritable sigh. "You're not helping..." I say as I close my laptop, leaving it on my bathroom sink as I exit the bathroom.

Quickly towel drying my hair, I put on a bit of make-up. Some foundation and undereye concealer, and even eyeliner, but only on my upper eyelid. I slip on a pair of skinny jeans, a tank top and leather jacket. Then doing up my heeled knee-high boots, I head out the door with my messenger bag over my shoulder and keys in hand. But I stop in front of my mirror. I examine myself, seeing the evolution of myself.