Two Hearts That Now Beat Separately

The normal heart beats a hundred times a minute, but when I was with you it would seem to beat a million times a minute.

If going back in time would fix what happened. Fixed those words, maybe you would still be with me. Fixing our hearts would be impossible. I know I was wrong, I'll admit it first. You were always the first one to apologise, even if it was my fault. If you ever came back, this time I would be the first to apologise.

What if I had kept my mouth shut, would you still be with me? Standing by my side, taking on the world with me? The world is confusing without a shoulder to cry on occasionally, it's confusing without someone here for you.

But for now I see you at your table, laughing with your friends. While you sit there with the sun hitting you perfectly. Almost like a single spotlight. While I sit alone, in the dark corner. Watching you move on.

Watching you move on, while I'm still stuck on you.

The moonlight would always make your eyes sparkle, when we would lay on the grass in my front yard. It would make your hair glow, and highlight the blond strands. As your hair aligned perfectly with the little blades of grass. The way you would put your arm around me, created a bubble around us. Like nothing could hurt us. I remember the time you let me braid your gorgeous surfer hair. The twinkle from the starlight made your emerald eyes light up, lighter than the sun. The flowers would form around you too making you that much more gorgeous, making it hard for me to believe you were mine.

Now, I sit outside by myself, looking at the same moon we would look at, and all I see is you. Do you still look at the same moon we did? Are you looking back at me?

I can't stop wondering if I let true love go. I can't stop wondering if I'll ever find someone like you.

I probably won't. As I sit here wondering how I blew it so bad, knowing every day that goes by you forget me more and more. Knowing each little memory we had fades each day. If I hadn't been so idiotic, and stupid I would still be with you. Everyday I think about you, wondering what it would be like if we were still together.

Would I be falling apart?

I used to always feel safe around you, feel close to you. Like we could never be torn apart.

It felt like I was catching thunder, one in a million, extremely rare. When I was with you.

You were always there for me. Like when the thunder and lightning was roaring through my house. You always knew how terrified I was of it. You'd come to my house and we'd listen to music, watching the moon. Recognize how it could survive the worst storms, and still be shining through.

We hoped to be like that, never let a storm ruin us. But it did. I always believed we were meant to be, and I still do.

But do you, is the real question.

I still can't forget that day, the way you looked at me. With the same twinkle in your eye, the one that could blind me.

The twinkle I can still see, but it fades away each day.

The thunder would feel like it was matching your heartbeat, the one that used to match mine. We would always sing High School Musical while we waltzed around the kitchen. Now when ever I hear thunder and lightning it's not the sound and the light that scares me.

It's the thought that I let you go.

These memories always bring tears to my eyes. My heart breaks a little each day when I hear your name, too.

All I can repeat is "...well then why don't we just breakup!" Those words snap my heart even harder. I still remember the taste of the words, sour and bitter. My eyes started to water, and before I knew it I had two parallel rivers running down my face.

I remember a single tear falling on my arm, that wasn't mine.

I tried to reach out to grab your hand and take you back, take back the words I said. But you pulled your hand away.

You were down the street before I could say a single word. I remember the total silence. The only thing breaking it, was the sound of my heart breaking.

I sat down on the curb looking into the sky, at the moons powerful glow. As it slowly hid behind a cloud and got dimmer and left me all alone. I watched as the other half of the moon was illuminated, as the other dimmed. I sat there and thought about how its other half is gone.

Torn apart, and vanished from its life.

Almost like the moon gave up on its other half, because of one bad storm. I watched as you walked away, as your silhouette got further away from me. Fading into the dark. I listened as your footsteps grew quieter, as you walked away from everything after a little storm.

You always talked about how the moon never let a storm stop its powerful glow in the sky.

So why are you letting a tiny drizzle stop us?

I know I shouldn't have said those words. But why would that have torn our moon into two.

Everytime I remember the sound of your footsteps and the moon, my heart tears a little each day. I thought the worst pain was seeing you walk away that night. Watching you walk away from us.

I was wrong.

The worst pain wasn't seeing you with someone else. Knowing you're happier without me, that hurts. The worst pain of all, is realizing our hearts now beat separately.

Recognizing how our hearts used to beat as one.