In The Lights

Chapter 28

You never know how much you love something, until it's gone. 

I never realized how true that quote was until this moment. And in this very moment, I realized how much I really loved the people in my life.  

The city streets were still quiet, which I was thankful for. Colson was asleep in the same chair he had been sitting in for the last however many hours. My eyes were puffy and irritated from all the crying I had done.  

My phone buzzed on the table next to me. I reached over slowly and grabbed it, gasping a little at the notification.  

"Colson," I croaked. I shook him by his shoulders until he sat up. "Colson, they know." 

"Huh? Who knows what?" He yawned. His eyes were also red and irritated. 

"The paparazzi knows I'm in the hospital. Someone must have seen you," Colson sighed and stood up, beginning to pace around the room.  

"We have to call your family," I shook my head. 

"It's almost 4 o'clock in the morning," I argued. 

"If we don't call them then they're gonna find out from the news. Is that really what you want?" I sighed and shook my head. "Give me your phone." I held my phone out to him until he took it and began dialing.  

"Hayden?" I didn't even hear the door open. I looked over at the person standing there, and my heart pounded hard and in my chest.  

"Austin," I whispered. Colson turned around slowly, the phone still up to his ear. "What are you doing here?" He shook his head and began to walk toward me, but stopped when Colson also took a step towards me. 

"Are you alright?" I looked over at Colson and nodded slowly. He looked at Austin for a moment before walking out of the room.  

"I'm... okay," Austin walked closer to me and sat down in the chair Colson previously occupied.  

"What happened?" I felt the tears well up in my eyes immediately. "Baby." 

"Don't call me baby," I said quickly. Austin swallowed hard as he looked at me. "I, uh..."  

"You can tell me, Hay. It's alright..." I felt his hand entwine over mine and squeeze.  

"The whole reason I didn't have sex with you was because I made a promise to Colson..." He sighed and looked away for a minute before looking at me again and nodding. "I promised him that I wouldn't have sex with anyone whether we were together or not... And then one night, we didn't use a condom and..."  

"Hayden... Are you pregnant?" A tear slipped from my eye as I shook my head. 

"I've been sick these last few weeks because of the baby and then yesterday Colson brought me to the hospital because I passed out. And earlier this morning I-" Austin squeezed my hand tighter. "I had a miscarriage." I sobbed out. 

"Oh, Hayden," Austin whispered. He raised his hand and wiped away a few tears as they rolled down my cheeks.  

"Austin I'm so sorry I lied to you. I just didn't know how to tell you. I didn't know how to tell anybody, I-" I lost all my words. I didn't know what to do, what to say, especially to Austin. He should hate me. He should have stormed out of the room, left my life! Yet he's still here. 

"Hayden, it's okay... All that matters right now is that you're okay," He rested a hand on my cheek and I found myself leaning into him.  

"You're a great guy. I don't deserve you..." We both managed to chuckle a bit. The door opened suddenly causing Austin to rip his hand away from my cheek. 

"Your parents are here..." Colson spoke softly.  

"I should go... Get better and text me when you're ready to talk, okay?" I nodded slowly. Austin stood and pressed his lips to my forehead. A minute later he pulled away and turned and walked out of the room, right past Colson. 

** 

"How did your parents take the news?" I sighed and shook my head.  

"They were disappointed, angry, hurt that I didn't tell them. They also brought up the fact that instead of going to school for the last month I've been taking my classes online," Colson set down a salad on the table in front of me, looking at me. 

"Please try and eat. I know you don't want to be here any longer than you have to and I don't want you in here longer than you have to, either," I fiddled with my fingers. 

"I'll try and eat it. Just not right now. I still feel sick," He nodded and sat down in the black chair beside my bed. 

"We're gonna get through this together," I shook my head and sighed. 

"Can we not talk about this right now?" His eyes filled with tears. 

"Hayden you just lost a baby. We just lost a baby. You're not the only one hurting in this," Colson scolded. I bit my lip and looked out the window. The sun was beginning to rise and the streets were growing busy.  

"This baby is all I've been talking and thinking about for the last 5 hours, Colson. I would hope that you of all people would understand how I feel!" We both stopped.  

"You're right," He whispered. "You're right. I'm sorry. I just want you to know you're not in this alone..." I rose my hand to his face and smiled weakly. 

"I know," There were a few knocks on the door before it opened slowly, revealing my doctor.  

"Good morning, Hayden. How are you feeling?" A small smile hinted at the corners of his mouth but he decided against it and walked over to me.  

"A little sick..." He nodded.  

"That's understandable. The last few tests came back negative for anything so we're gonna release you. We're also going to recommend one of our therapist's and psychiatrists," I curled my eyebrows.  

"No, I'm fine. I don't need a therapist or psychiatrist," The doctor looked over at Colson who sighed before looking at me. 

"Hay, just do what the doctor says. It'll be better for you in the end," I shook my head. 

"No! I'm not seeing a therapist. I can handle this! I just need to be home for a while and take some time for myself," The doctor sighed and looked at Colson. 

"If you do change your mind just give me a call. I'm sorry for your loss," He whispered before walking out of the room. Colson turned to me and smiled lightly. 

"You ready to head home?" I nodded. 

"It's been a long couple of days. I'm tired, Colson..." He kissed my hand slowly. 

"Then let's go home." 

**