The Journey That Is Life; A Teenage Perspective

Chapter 26- Do I Care? Yes. Should I? No.

   My parents aren't being a bit sympathetic, it's quite sad. All they're worried about is monitoring my social media websites to make sure I don't post anything about being sick, as much as I wanted to, who would care? Zoë, Sully for sure, and then people would start getting to know me, and all they would say is, "Omg I'm so sorry <3333333 I hope you get better", Internet talk and I don't think they'd mean it, its the nice deed they'd do for the year. I know I'll tell Zoë, eventually, same with Sully. Oh I love that boy; just I wouldn’t know how he'd react. I'd make sure he isn't intoxicated at the time.

     I was let out that evening after another exam like the one yesterday, but more fancy. It had more gadgets, I felt like I was a testing guinea pig for some science experiment, the highlight of my week. The week past by slow, I went out of the house once, with my dog. I would say I was getting used to the constant headaches hidden behind the medication effects, but I really wasn't, I wasn't used to this at all. I did get a lot of worried texts and phone calls from Zoë, she even threatened to come over once or twice, but I said no, I wasn't even presentable to look at myself in the mirror. I kept my hair up and out of my face, and let my pale skin glow.

*****

     School starts up again after the weekend. Can't wait for my English class to be filled with us childs writing essays on our winter break festivities. What am I going to write, I went to Hawaii, met an amazing guy who I cant seem to get off my mind, I could possibly have a brain tumour, I got a lot of clothes for Christmas, and I spent most of my time doing what I do best; nothing productive. Usually in the winter, I'd be hitting the slopes at any chance I get, and going to snow field parties just to make a fool of myself then leave. Those were the times. I have an inner city ski hill, its decent and has quite a lot of stuff, but it's nothing compared to the mountain rides, those never get boring, I’d go with my dad. But the bus rides there; I just don't know how to spark up a conversation.

*****

     First day back to school, it felt way too long since I've walked these halls. I wasn't excited to be back, but its better then being stuck around the house, winning fake arguments in my head. People seemed to be looking twice at me today. Why? Could it be because I’m wearing more makeup than usual or is Stacey and Addy out of town for an STD check? I did find it quite odd though, I made it too my locker without any embarrassing falls, so my day was good so far, but standing there blocking my locker was Luke, looking handsome as ever. I never did talk to him over the break either, not after my first hospital trip with the car crash, I smiled, "Hey!" I went in for a hug.

     He didn't accept my hug, in fact he wasn't even smiling, "Are you okay?" he asked me.

     I was worried what he was thinking in his head at the moment, "Of course I am... Are you?"

     He nodded his head, "Did I do something wrong?"

     I’m sure my face was blank as ever, "What do you me--" I was cut off/

      "What’s wrong with you, Maddi?" It wasn't Lukes voice, from behind me I heard Zoë walking up, so I turned around.

     "Nothing is! What's wrong with everyone today." I said, turning back to Luke.

     "I thought you liked me, you stopped talking to me after you got hit." Luke said, now looking over my head at Zoë.

     "Whom have you been with? I've been calling you everyday for the past week." Zoë said again, I couldn't even say anything without being interrupted, every seemed mad at me.

     "I have my reasons Zo--" I tried sounding understanding to her being mad, but again interrupted

     "Answer me!" Luke said, I turned back around, and his eyes didn't have that sparkle in it. My started to hurt, I walked away from both of them, totally disregarding the books out my locker, I didn't need them if I was going to spend the class crying in the washroom. I was due for a good cry anyways, I didn’t care that I was in public or that judgemental girls were looking. I stormed in, seeing girls fixing there makeup and gossiping, I walked past them, bumping one of them, spreading there lipstick on her face, she yelled at me, but I didn't care, I went into the farthest stall, and sat down beside the toilet. I hid my face in my knees and started sobbing.

     I heard the girls whispering about me, but I couldn't care less.