Mirrors

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Nobody ever warned me about mirrors . They warned me about talking to strangers and about drugs on the streets and staying out after dark . But they never told me that my reflection would ruin me more than anyone or anything in the world .

I used to be fond of mirrors when I was younger, back when being pretty wasn't my highest priority. Back when I didn't pick out every flaw on body and criticise myself for not being perfect . As I got older I got upsesed with the idea of perfection and I became my worst enimy ... The villain of my own story

I wish I could go back to being six years old . Back to messy pigtails and toothless smiles . Back to when I just wanted to be happy because life was simple when I didn't hate myself .

At 10 years old , I tamed my messy ponytails with pins and tried make-up , wanting to grow up quicker than I should have . Someone should have told me it just gets worse from there .

At 14 years old I was a broken smile with mascara running down my face . The word 'fat' only hurt me when I realised it was supposed to. The compliment 'pretty' was something I was dying to hear . Because I realised that people like you more if you have a pretty face , so I asked the mirror every day "Am I pretty yet?"

It started with a few skipped meals and Timble blogs . Obsessing over models and wishing I was like them I always told myself "I'll stop when I look like them" but then I couldn't it turned to scars on my wrist and feeling cold in a warm room . It's telling people I'm fine and lying that I am not hungry . It's getting congratulated if losing weight because I look so much better now . It's about getting asked how I did it so fast and lying because I'm ashamed . It's my father being proud of me because all he wanted was a pretty daughter . It became a vicous cycle and it's never ending .

Now at 16 years old I am defined by a fake smile , and skinny thighs , by sobbing eyes and bloody wrists. Because nobody warned me about mirrors











A/N
This I did not write. I read it when I was younger on wattpad. I do not take credit for the work.

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