Down came the rain

Prolgue

Deep breath.
Inhale.
exhale.
repeat.
I don't know why I do this every single time. I finally open my eyes and look into the mirror and stare at my run down reflection. I rest my hands on the sink and lean in towards the mirror.
"You're the only one who can stop this."
I tell myself, knowing damn well I won't listen, I never do. I turn on the water faucet and wait for the water to get too hot before I start splashing it on my face, burning my hands and scalding my skin. Once I'm done, I grab a towel and begin to wipe away the runny mascara and eyeliner never taking my eyes off my reflection. Satisfied with my work, I throw the towel on the ground and walk out into the hallway and peak back in the room where he is. He's still passed out, and I'm grateful.
With only 2 hours before l have to be at work, I slip out the back door and out of his life forever, or at least that's what I tell myself every single time I end up here, in his bed. I lock the door behind me and gently close it so he doesn't hear me leave......again. We've been playing this game for a while, and he still doesn't know my last name or that I drive an hour from home to hide who I really am. I never meant to keep coming back for more, but he's perfect when I'm lonely. I wrap my arms around my midsection as I walk to my car, letting the instant shame I feel hit me like a freight train. The tears start to fall as soon as I reach my car door and I hurry to get in and lock the doors. I rest my head against the steering wheel, allowing myself 1 minute of sadness before I put on the emotionless mask that I wear daily.
"How did I get here?" I sob into my steering wheel. I straighten up, wipe my eyes once again, and put my key in the ignition when someone bangs on my window.
I look over and see him standing there holding my wallet and I instantly pale.
He speaks as I manually roll down my window.
"I think you forgot something." He says cooly and hands over my wallet.